


It's you

by ChiaWrites



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Comfort, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Love, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, TW: Homophobia, and lots of softness as always
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-04-08 10:13:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 33,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14103150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChiaWrites/pseuds/ChiaWrites
Summary: ''Oh' Maggie thought. Alex liked someone. It was obvious from the change of subject and the way she was behaving. And if Maggie was being honest, she had noticed that Alex had been acting strange for some weeks now. And now she understood why.'OrThe High School AU where Alex and Maggie fall in love.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys:) 
> 
> Ive had this idea whirling around my head for a long while now and I finally decided to start writing it after the sanvers breakup--- usually I prefer writing canon universe stuff but canon is not very fun to write atm- whereas this was very fun:D and made it so much easier to get through whats happening on the show- so im kinda sad its almost finished but also glad to be able to get it out there for you guys to read:)  
> theres no superpowers in this one and ive changed it a little so that maggie moves in with her aunt age 17-- ive tried my best to keep them as in character as possible but it was a lot harder than i originally anticipated! -most of maggie and alexs background is similar to canon. 
> 
> I really hope you like it:)

 

 

Maggie started up at Midvale High halfway through her Junior year of high school.

New city, new school, new home.

New life.

After her parents kicked her out, her Aunt Maria offered to take her in. So, Maggie moved in with her aunt, into her two-bedroom apartment in central Midvale.

Her aunt was Maggie’s mom’s cousin. She was a lot younger than Maggie’s mom and different in almost every way. It took Maggie quite some time to open up to her. Maggie hardly talked for the first few weeks. Things were awkward and stunted as they got used to each other and the change to their lives. But Maria was kind and very patient with her, she tried to give her all the time and space that she needed. And she was understanding in a way that Maggie had never experienced before from any members of her family. It took some getting used to.

It took Maggie time getting used to everything else too. Everything in Midvale was so different to Blue Springs. The buildings, the people, even the air felt different.

That first week, Maggie just stayed in her small room, trying to get to grips with how her life had just upturned so suddenly. Trying to understand how Eliza could have betrayed her trust like that. And how Maggie herself could have been so naïve as to think that she could trust her.

Maggie knew her parents would react badly to her being gay, that’s why she had always planned on telling them after she moved out. It’s not like Maggie had the greatest relationship with her parents. They weren’t the type of parents who were very affectionate or loving. And Maggie had always known she wasn’t meant to stay in Blue Springs. She had always had a plan to get out of there as soon as she could. She had her sights set on a college in New York and then she would hopefully join the NYPD. But all those plans were for when she had finished high school and was in a position to take care of herself. Not like this.

But once Maggie had had enough time to sort things out in her head- about what she was going to do, she realised that she could still stick to her plan. And she was more determined now than she had ever been.

She just wanted to finish her studies well and get into a good college, as far away as possible from any memory of this part of her life. She just had to make it through these two years.

Things were difficult at first but settling into school wasn’t as daunting as she thought it would be. She got some attention at first, a few guys tried to ask her out, but they soon realised that Maggie wasn’t interested. She found a group of friends to hang out with and the news of her joining the school quickly blew over. Unlike her old school, there were so many kids in Midvale High, Maggie was easily able to keep herself to herself.

And she didn’t stand out like she did in her old school. Going from being one of the only non-white kids in Blue Springs to having almost every other person she saw be non-white was quite a shock. She could walk down the hallways without receiving unwanted comments or dirty looks. And that was such a welcome change.

 

As the semester went by, Maggie got more settled into her routine. Her classes were going well, and she liked her teachers well enough, and things with her aunt were slowly getting easier as well.

Over Spring break, she even managed to get a job at a coffee shop so she could start saving up some money for herself. And while things were still hard, they seemed to be going as well as they could. The first couple of months went by without any dints in her plan.

But that was all before Alex Danvers came into her life.

 

 

xxxx

 

 

Alex had so much on her plate with her studies and her family that small things like a new student coming to their school usually didn’t signal on her radar. But she couldn’t help but notice Maggie when she first joined.

Maggie was a Junior too and in some of the same classes as her. All Alex really knew about her was that she had moved from Nebraska. But, just from being in some of the same classes as her, Alex could tell that she was smart. And Alex found herself intrigued by her. But Maggie seemed quiet and reserved, and Alex wasn’t the type of person to go out of her way to befriend someone, so Alex never found the opportunity to talk to her for the first few months.

That is, until, after spring break.

In their first AP Chemistry lesson back after spring break, their teacher, Mr Jacobs, told them that they were going to be assigned their chemistry project next lesson which was worth thirty per cent of their final grade.

It was a partnered project and Alex hated partnered projects. She much preferred doing things by herself. She always got paired with the worst people. Last year she had got stuck with Max Lord and he had been insufferable. The chances of being paired up with him again were low but she wasn’t going to take that chance. Her grade was too important to her so she decided to make sure that she didn’t get stuck with him.

After class, she went up to Mr Jacobs.

“Sir, have you assigned our partners for the project yet? I’d like to know who I’m with.”

Mr Jacobs looked up at her. “Why can’t you wait until next week like everyone else?”

“I want to make sure I’m not with Max.”

Mr Jacobs looked a little amused. “Alex, I can’t just change partners for everyone who asks.”

“Sir, you know I don’t work well with him. Can’t an exception be made just this once? Please?”

He raised his eyebrow at her slightly, and Alex just smiled at him, undeterred.

Mr Jacobs sighed and went to his computer. “Let me have a look.” He put his glasses on to browse the page, before finding what he was looking for. He looked back at Alex with a smile. “You’re with Maggie Sawyer.”

“Maggie Sawyer?” Alex said dumbly, and Mr Jacobs nodded.

“She’s a good student- smart and hardworking, you shouldn’t have any problems with her.” He raised his eyebrows at her, amused. “Happy with that?”

It took her a second but Alex eventually smiled. She didn’t know Maggie personally, but Alex was sure that she would be a whole lot better than rest of the class.  

 

 

Later that day, she was in the library during her free period with Lucy and Winn when she noticed Maggie sitting in the corner, doing some work.

“That’s Maggie,” she whispered to Lucy and Winn, pointing to Maggie in the corner. Alex had told them about the chemistry project. “Do you think I should go say hi?” She wanted to introduce herself, and maybe find out a little bit more about her. 

“Wow,” Lucy teased. “Alex Danvers trying to make friends, I never thought I’d see the day.”

Alex rolled her eyes. “It’s for the project, dumbass.”

She made her way over to Maggie’s table and Maggie looked up to see her, a little surprised. She took her earphones out of her ears.

“Hi,” Alex smiled. “You’re Maggie right?”

Maggie smiled with a nod. “Yeah.”

“I’m Alex.” She held out her hand a little awkwardly and Maggie took it with a smile.

“We’re in the same chemistry class right?” Maggie asked, somewhat confused and Alex smiled at the fact that Maggie remembered.

“Yeah, we are. Actually, that’s why I came over. You know that project Mr Jacobs was telling us about today…we’ve been paired together for it.”

“Oh, okay…cool.”

“Yeah…” Alex nodded. She didn’t know what else to say so she quickly came up with something to keep the conversation going. “I was wondering if you wanted to set up some days we could meet up to work on it or whatever.”

Maggie smiled. “Yeah, sure, that sounds good.”

Alex moved to take a seat opposite Maggie and Maggie moved some of her books from the table to make space for her.

“You moved here from Nebraska right?” Alex asked

“Yeah,” Maggie nodded with a small. “Blue Springs, Nebraska,” Maggie said, trying to keep her tone light.

“Do you miss it there?”

Maggie let out a little chuckle at the question. She narrowed her eyes playfully, pretending to consider it. “Uh…’miss’ probably isn’t the right word.”

“No?” Alex laughed. She had heard a few things about Nebraska but she didn’t want to assume. “Why not?”

“Well, Blue Springs was voted one of the worst towns in the state so…there’s that.” She shrugged cutely at the end and Alex laughed.

“Oh. Glad to be out then?”

Maggie’s smile softened a little. “You could say that.”

Alex wondered why Maggie had moved. “Did your parents get a job out here?” she asked casually.

There was an almost imperceptible falter in Maggie’s smile but Alex noticed it.

“Uh- no, I’m actually living with my aunt right now.”

“Oh cool,” was Alex’s automatic response and Maggie nodded. And Alex could tell that, despite how well Maggie was hiding it, she had hit a sensitive subject.

But she didn’t know how sensitive it was, so she decided to avoid questioning further. “I live my mom- and sister,” she added awkwardly, and Maggie let out a little laugh at the information and Alex laughed too at herself.

“So…” Alex changed the subject, taking her notebook out of her bag. “Uh- the project. Are you free on Mondays after school?”

Maggie thought about it for a second. “Um- I work Mondays but what about Tuesday?”

“Yeah, Tuesday’s good.” Alex marked it down in her notebook and smiled up at Maggie. “Where do you work?” she asked, deeming it a safe enough question.

“The Coffee Bean, near the park?”

“Oh, yeah I know it.” Alex nodded with a smile. She walked by it often, but she hadn’t been there in a while.

They talked about their project for a little bit longer and when it got close to the end of their free period, Alex moved to get up. “Well…I guess I’ll see you in class then?”

Maggie nodded with a kind smile. “See you in class.”

 

 

After school, Alex found herself thinking back to her conversation with Maggie. About how Maggie had faltered when Alex asked about her parents. Alex’s thoughts went to when Kara came to live with them. She hoped it wasn’t the same reason why Maggie had moved. She knew how hard it was losing a parent. But she tried to not let her mind go to the worst possibility- it could be anything. She didn’t know why she felt so much concern for Maggie after only having just met her.

During dinner that night, Alex told her mom and Kara about the project and Maggie.

“I’ve been partnered with the new girl for my chemistry project,” Alex started.

Before Eliza could even reply, Alex was telling them more. “Her name’s Maggie. I spoke to her for the first time today. She lives with her aunt but I didn’t ask her why because it seemed like an uncomfortable subject.”

Eliza nodded. “What is she like?”

“Really nice, and smart and Mr Jacobs said she’s hardworking so it could have been worse. I’m actually kinda looking forward to it.” And Eliza’s eyebrows raised a little in surprise at that because usually Alex complained about assignments she had to do with other people. She didn’t like having to rely on another person for her grade. So it was surprising for Eliza to hear Alex somewhat positive about this one. This girl Maggie had obviously made a good impression on Alex.

 

 

On Saturday, Alex went to library and on her way home she decided to go to The Coffee Bean to to see if Maggie was working. And to her surprise, she was. She was wearing a cap and apron and a maroon polo top and it made Alex smile- she thought she looked cute.

Alex went up to the counter. “Hey.”

Maggie looked up, surprised to see her. “Alex, hey!” Her smile was warm.

Alex had a stack of books in her arms and Maggie nodded at them in question. “That’s a lot of books.”

“Oh, yeah, I just went to the library to do some research, you know- for the paper,” Alex explained.

And Maggie smiled in that amused way she did, with a tilt of her head that for some reason made Alex a little flustered.

Maggie chuckled a little. They had yet to be properly assigned the project but Alex was already doing research for it. “Looks like I’m partnered with a nerd,” she teased lightly, with a grin that brought out her dimples. “Lucky me.”

Alex tried really hard to fight the smile that wanted to spread across her face at the gentle teasing. “Well…it’s always good to be prepared.”

Maggie nodded, still slightly amused.

“So, what would you like to drink?”

“Oh yeah,” Alex awkwardly remembered. She had just come to see if Maggie would be there, but she couldn’t leave without ordering something. That would look totally weird. So she ordered a coffee and muffin.

Alex watched as Maggie prepared it and she had the odd feeling of wanting to linger and talk to Maggie more, but Maggie had other customers so Alex didn’t get the chance.

Maggie handed the coffee and muffin to her with a smile and they said their goodbyes. Once outside, Alex looked down at the cup and saw that Maggie had written ‘nerd’ on it in lovely cursive, with a little smiley face at the end and Alex couldn’t control her smile.

And she didn’t even realise it, but she smiled all the way home.

 

 

On Tuesday, Maggie went to Alex’s house after school to work on the project.

She met Eliza and Kara briefly before going up to Alex’s room to get started.

Alex was setting up her laptop when she caught Maggie looking at a picture of her with her dad on the bedside table.

Alex didn’t know Maggie’s story and she didn’t want to pressure her into talking about it if she didn’t want to, but maybe if Alex told her about herself then Maggie would feel more comfortable.

Alex walked up beside her. “That’s my dad,” she said softly. “He passed away three years ago.”

Maggie’s face fell in sympathy. “I’m sorry.” Maggie looked back at the picture, both he and Alex were smiling wide and carefree. “He looks kind,” she said and Alex looked at the picture, sad.

“He was.”

There was another photo beside that one of Alex with her mom and dad, but it didn’t have Kara in it. “Your sister’s not in this one?” Maggie asked.

Alex looked at the old family photo fondly. It was before Kara had come to live with them.

“Kara’s adopted…we adopted her when she was twelve after her parents died.”

“Woah,” Maggie breathed out. She would never have guessed it from meeting her just now. Kara had been so bubbly and nice, it made Maggie’s heart soften for the girl. Alex and Kara had already experienced so much tragedy in their life at such a young age.

“Our parents worked together and were really close,” Alex continued. “So… when it happened…mom and dad didn’t think twice about adopting her.”

Alex let out a heavy breath. “It was a really hard time for- losing her parents, and then dad too- all within two years. And for mom, having to cope with it all on her own.” Alex looked down as she thought about it.

Maggie nodded softly, listening to Alex’s words as she looked down at the picture.

“What about you?” Maggie asked. Alex hadn’t mentioned her own experience in all this. “How did you cope?”

Alex looked up at her, surprised at the question, and then after a second let out a self-deprecating laugh, looking back down. “Not very well.” She let out a sigh, wondering why she felt comfortable enough telling Maggie all of this deep stuff. She never talked about this to anyone. Maybe it was because she knew that Maggie was going through some personal things too. And she felt like Maggie actually understood and cared.

She looked back up at Maggie’s gentle expression. “Even before dad died, things were complicated. Going from being an only child to suddenly not wasn’t easy. It was nothing against Kara,” Alex made sure to clarify. “It…it just put a strain on my relationships, particularly with my mom. And then afterwards, when my dad-“ she paused a second, gathering herself. “Afterwards they were really difficult too, but it brought us all closer together and now…Kara’s my best friend.”

Maggie’s concerned expression softened into a small, gentle smile. “Your parents sound like amazing people,” Maggie said softly. “And it’s really nice you and Kara are so close now.” Alex smiled at Maggie but she could see some sadness in Maggie’s expression. She could tell that that wasn’t the case for her.

“Do you have any siblings?”

“Uh-” Maggie looked down. “An older brother.”

 “Are you close?” Alex asked tentatively.

“No, not really.” Maggie wasn’t close to her brother at all. He had always been their parents favourite and Maggie had always been the odd one out in the family. 

They were both quiet for a moment, and the question of Maggie’s family was hanging between them. And Alex had just shared so much, Maggie felt she should too. And she felt comfortable enough with Alex to tell her this much.

Maggie broke the small silence. “He and my parents are still back in Nebraska,” Maggie said.

“Why?” Alex asked softly. She didn’t want to push too hard.

She could tell that Maggie was nervous from the way that she looked down and held her hands together.

“Because my parents made me move.” Maggie sighed, reasoning that she might as well just tell the truth and see how Alex takes it. She didn’t want to hide things anymore. She had already lost her family. “They kicked me out because they found out I was gay.”

Alex didn’t immediately react and Maggie continued, nervous.

“I mean, small town and all that, they thought it would be easier to send me here.” It was a half life, she was dulling down the story because she didn’t feel comfortable putting all her heaviness on Alex and making herself so vulnerable when they had only just become friends. And she wasn’t sure how Alex would react.

Alex’s concerned expression shifted into surprise and she didn’t know what to say for a moment. She had not been expecting that. But she quickly recovered.

“Maggie, I’m so sorry,” she breathed out and watched as Maggie just shrugged, looking down. “That’s…awful.” Alex was surprised at the anger that she felt.

Maggie felt awkward at the strength of Alex’s concern but relieved too. “It’s…yeah,” she dismissed. She felt that familiar feeling building up again and she tried to brush it off quickly. “I’m with my aunt now, and she’s cool.”

Alex didn’t look fully convinced but she let it go, getting the feeling that Maggie didn’t want to talk about it too much.

Her heart dipped in sympathy for the girl sitting in front of her. Alex would never have been able to guess that she was going through all of this. Not from looking at her, or even talking to her. She was good at hiding her emotions.

Alex didn’t know what to say. She didn’t have the right words to take Maggie’s sadness away- just as nobody had the right words to take hers away. She offered the best thing she could in that moment.

“I’m glad you have your aunt,” Alex said softly, but she knew from her own experience that sometimes it was difficult to talk to certain people about these things. “But…if you need anyone else to talk to, I’m here,” Alex offered sincerely. It seemed like Maggie wasn’t really the talking type but she wanted to offer anyway, just so that she knew.

And Maggie let out a small, genuine smile, her heart softening in appreciation. They had only known each other for a little while but Maggie believed her.

 

 

After that, they got together every Tuesday after school to get the project done, and sometimes on the weekends too. Sometimes they would end up just hanging out, instead of working on the project. They both really enjoyed the time they spent together which, for Alex, was new because she had always preferred working alone. But her and Maggie just seemed to click. Maggie wasn’t a hindrance like Alex felt most people were, she had good ideas and actually made doing things more enjoyable.

So when the project came to an end, Alex found herself disappointed. The project had become an excuse to hang out and Alex felt that they had formed a bond and she didn’t want that to end. And she hoped that neither did Maggie.

After handing in their work to Mr Jacobs, Maggie turned to Alex with a smile.

“We made a pretty good team, no?”

Alex smiled. “Yeah we did.” There was a little pause before Alex just went for it. “Hey, do you still want to hang out today after school, you know, just to study together, seeing as we work so well together and all.” Alex hoped her nerves weren’t too obvious. She hated that she was so awkward about things like this.

Maggie just let out a little laugh. “Yeah,” she said, “I’d like that.”

Alex tried to play it cool, a little embarrassed about just how happy that made her.

 

So they continued hanging out together after school. And soon, Maggie became a part of Alex’s friend group. And being Alex’s close friend, the gang welcomed her with open arms.

 

They were all sitting together one lunchtime, making plans for the weekend. Lucy was telling everyone that her parents were going to be away that weekend.

“Hey Maggie,” Lucy said, “you wanna come round Friday, we usually get together at my place when my parents are away?”

Maggie was a little surprised by the offer, still feeling new to the group.

“Yeah, you should come,” Alex nudged her. “It’ll be fun- video games, movies, pizza…and ooooh, Lucy has a pool table.”

Maggie laughed at Alex’s enthusiasm in her attempt to persuade her.

She agreed to come and everyone smiled- Alex especially so.

 

Friday night came and Maggie went to Lucy’s house with Alex and Kara. When they got there, Winn and James were already there with pizza and snacks and drinks, playing a videogame.

Lucy’s house had a game room, with a big flat screen, and a pool table in the corner. They sat about talking for a while before Alex asked Maggie if she wanted to play some pool.

They played a little game and Alex was really good, she beat Maggie quite easily. Maggie wasn’t really surprised, Alex seemed to be good at everything.

“Is there anything you’re not good at?” Maggie said playfully.

Alex let out an uncharacteristic, shy laugh. She pretended to think about it. “Hmmm, I’ll let you know if anything ever comes up,” she managed to joke and Maggie shook her head at her with a laugh.

After their game, James came over to ask them if they wanted to play doubles with him and Lucy.

“Winner gets to choose the movie,” Lucy said with a grin as she came up behind James.

“You’re on,” Alex replied, confident as ever.

James set the table up and broke.

“Maggie,” James said, handing her the cue. “You’re up.”

Maggie lined up the shot to play and she felt Alex come up next to her.

“Here,” Alex said, asking for the cue. “Hold it like this.”

“Hey, that’s cheating,” Lucy protested, before Alex could even finish showing her.

Alex turned to Lucy with an annoyed look. “How is it cheating?”

“You’re not allowed to assist your partner,” Lucy said matter of factly.

Alex scoffed at that. “Oh please, James practically spoons you when you play. This is not cheating.”

James looked embarrassed and Lucy rolled her eyes.

Alex went back to showing Maggie how to hold the cue. One Alex had shown her, Maggie took back the stick, bending down into position again. Alex came closer to her and gently guided Maggie’s back arm lower so that the cue was positioned straighter, and she guided her hands a little too.

“Like that,” Alex said and Maggie warmed at the close proximity and touch. She ignored it though, knowing that it was just innocent.

She lined up the cue and made the shot and, sure enough, the ball went straight in. She straightened up and smiled at Alex and Alex was already beaming at her.

“Cheating,” Lucy said behind them, a teasing smile on her face, and Alex went back to arguing with her again.

James and Maggie just laughed at them both.

Maggie went to lean against the table next to James. “And I thought _I_ was competitive,” she said to him.

James chuckled a little. “I don’t think anyone’s got anything on these two, they’re like children,” he joked and Maggie laughed.

 

Alex and Maggie ended up winning the game but given Lucy’s incessant claims of cheating, they ended up voting on what movie to watch instead. And so they ended up watching Mean Girls. 

And sitting with them all together like that, Maggie felt like a normal teenager for the first time in a long time.

 

 

It was a week later and Alex was out having lunch with Lucy and Kara. Maggie was at work and Alex was a little distracted texting her.

“Alex…Alex!”

“What!” Alex looked up to see Lucy scowling at her.

“Were you even listening to what I just said?”

“Uh…yeah?” Alex said not so convincingly.

“No you weren’t,” Lucy accused, looking at Alex as she went back to checking her phone. Lucy’s expression turned into a grin. “Who are you texting?” she asked, her tone teasing, dripping with insinuation and Alex straightened, getting defensive.

“No one.”

“Oh really? What’s with the smile and heart-eyes then huh?”

Alex made a poor attempt at remaining cool. “What? Heart-ey-? Pssh no.”

Maggie had just text her that she was free to hang out tomorrow. Had she really been smiling so much about that? Enough for Lucy and Kara to tease her about it?

Kara leaned over to see who it was and for some reason Alex hid the phone out of sight.

“It’s no one.”

“Is it that boy from your biology class, the one who always tries to talk to you?” Kara asked, excited.

“Who, Dylan? Ew, no.”

“Alex, why ew? He’s cute…and smart…”

“Okay, okay,” Alex interrupted her. “He’s just…not my type.”

“Ooooooh, so Alex Danvers has a type!” Lucy teased.

“Shut up!” Alex threw a fry at her and that was enough to distract them from the conversation.

Alex tried extra hard not to get distracted by texts from Maggie after that.

 

But afterwards, when she got home, Alex found herself thinking back to what had happened at lunch. About how Lucy and Kara had teased her unknowingly about Maggie.

She thought about Maggie for a moment. Obviously, she liked her, she was her friend. But not in _that_ way. Right? She enjoyed hanging out with her. She was always happy to see her. They had just clicked together unlike Alex ever had with anybody else. But that didn’t have to mean she liked her as anything other than a friend. It couldn’t. She wasn’t _gay._ Surely, she would have realised something like that by now.

She had dated boys before. Last year, she had dated Danny Adams for six weeks and it had been…fine. There just hadn’t been much of a spark with him so she had called it off. But that didn’t mean she wouldn’t find a spark with _any_ boy.

She thought about what Lucy had said about her having a type. She had never thought about it before, she didn’t think she had one. But she tried to think about all the qualities that she found attractive in a person. The person had to be smart, of course. And hard-working, and passionate, and kind, and funny and easy going. It wasn’t hard to come up with that list. But when she thought about physical attributes, things got a little fuzzier. She tried to think of boys. Their physical features- their faces, hair, body and she found herself frustrated at not being able to come up with anything concrete. But she just found it too awkward.

She closed her eyes and Maggie’s smile and pretty eyes came into her mind involuntarily and her heart fluttered without her permission. She fell back against the bed, pulling her pillow over her face in frustration.

She couldn’t like Maggie. Maybe she was just feeling like this because Maggie was so nice. Maybe it was just like a friend-crush.

She groaned into the pillow. She was meant to meet up with Maggie the next day and she was nervous about it all of a sudden. The idea of seeing Maggie right now felt like too much.

She quickly sent Maggie a message, making up some excuse about why she couldn’t meet up tomorrow anymore.

 

 

Monday came, and with it some crashing realisations. She tried to avoid Maggie but she couldn’t avoid her completely.

Lunch time came and they all sat together like normal. But it wasn’t like normal for Alex. She couldn’t concentrate enough to even finish her lunch. She was too distracted by Maggie. By how good she looked in simple jeans and a hoodie. By how her eyes crinkled adorably when Winn made a dumb joke.

It was one thing imagining Maggie’s smile but seeing it in the flesh again had Alex’s heart fluttering even more uncontrollably than the other night- especially now that she was realising her feelings for what they were.

Looking at Maggie sitting across the table from her, Alex knew she couldn’t deny it anymore.

She was quiet during that lunch, and Maggie noticed.

“You okay?” Maggie asked softly and Alex nodded her head quickly. She looked up at Maggie’s concerned expression and she couldn’t handle it.

“Yeah, sorry,” Alex said, beginning to get up. “I just- forgot that I had to ask Mrs Ferguson something.” She quickly made up an excuse and ran out of there, leaving the others a bit confused.

 

At home, she was acting strange too and Kara was worried. It wasn’t like Alex to just stay in bed doing nothing.

Kara went up to their room and sat next to Alex on her bed. Alex opened her eyes when she felt Kara next to her.

“Alex, what’s wrong, are you not feeling well?” Her eyebrows were furrowed in worry.

Alex sighed, shaking her head. “No, I’m fine.” She didn’t realise she had been acting so obvious.

“You’re not fine,” Kara insisted. “You’ve been acting strange all week. What is it?”

Alex was just quiet for a moment. She didn’t know what to say to Kara. She knew she wouldn’t just let it go, she looked too worried. And Alex knew she had to tell someone. And there was nobody she trusted more than Kara.

She sat up, leaning forward and let out a huge exhale.

“You know how you guys were teasing me the other day?” Kara looked confused so Alex continued. “About the texting?”

Kara’s eyes softened as she remembered and she nodded her head, confused at the change in topic. “What about it?”

“I was texting…Maggie,” Alex breathed out.

Kara’s eyebrows furrowed further in confusion. She didn’t really know what Alex was trying to say. “Okay?”

Alex sighed again, she would have to make it clearer than that. “You remember what Lucy said to me?”

Kara nodded. “The heart-eyes thing?”

“Yeah,” Alex said. “And well…she…she was right- about…Maggie,” she admitted.

Alex could see the comprehension dawning on Kara’s face and she was starting to go into a panic, admitting this out loud for the first time.

“After she said that, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. About why she had said it, and why I had reacted the way I did. And then I couldn’t stop thinking about Maggie. How I…feel whenever I’m with her and just…seeing her today made it even more real. And I-I don’t know what to do-,” Alex’s ramble was getting more panicked and Kara stopped her.

“Hey Alex, it’s okay,” she said as she leaned forward to take Alex’s hands in hers. “It’s okay.”

Alex looked up at Kara, scared.

“Are you saying-“ Kara paused, trying to find the right words. “Are you saying you have…feelings for Maggie?”

And there was the question, as simple as can be. Alex looked up to the ceiling and she felt tears well up in her eyes. She looked back down at Kara and nodded and a tear fell down her cheek.

“Alex,” Kara whispered, taking Alex into a hug.

Kara was overwhelmed too but she tried not to show it for Alex’s sake. She just knew she had to comfort Alex for now.

“You don’t have to do anything for now,” Kara assured her, and Alex hugged her tighter in relief.

 

The next morning, Alex felt somewhat better about things, having told Kara.

“Are you…going to tell her?” Kara asked. Kara really liked Maggie and the thought of her and Alex dating was unexpected, but it made her happy. Alex and Maggie were already so close.

“I don’t know,” Alex said. The thought was terrifying. She had never felt like this before. But it was a mixture of fear and excitement. “She’s my friend.”

“Maybe you should ask Lucy, her and James were friends before they started dating.”

Alex nodded at the idea.

 

At school, Alex asked Lucy to come around to hers after school.

They had just got home and were sitting in Alex and Kara’s room when Alex brought it up.

“How did you tell James that you liked him?”

Lucy looked up at the question, surprised. She was intrigued but shrugged, trying to keep it casual. “I just asked him out.”

“Just like that?” Alex was disappointed with the answer.

Lucy sighed, knowing that Alex was looking for something more substantial so she decided to be more honest. “I always knew there was something there, and I knew he liked me too so I just went for it.”

Alex exhaled and looked down at the answer, the thought of doing that with Maggie seemed so scary. But she felt the same way with Maggie. She felt that there was something there.

“Why?” Lucy asked. She had an inkling, but she wanted Alex to tell her.

Alex looked at her for a moment and then to Kara who gave her a nod of encouragement.

Alex looked down, quiet and nervous again. “I think…I like….Maggie.”

She waited for Lucy’s reaction and Lucy was silent for a moment before her face formed into a huge grin.

“Oh my God, I knew it!” Lucy exclaimed.

And that was not the reaction that Alex had been expecting.

“What?”

Lucy smiled at her shock. “Alex…your crush is pretty obvious.”

Alex felt a little put out. Had she really been that obvious?

Lucy softened at Alex’s look. Now probably wasn’t the time for teasing. “So…you’re gay?” she asked as gently as possible.

Alex fumbled a little. She hadn’t figured that out yet and she still felt uncomfortable using the word. “I…don’t know, maybe? I’ve never liked anyone like this before,” Alex admitted.

“Not even Danny?” Kara asked.

Alex shook her head and Kara’s face fell with what looked like guilt. Kara had been the one to encourage her to go out with him.

“I’m sorry we pushed you to go out with him so much,” Kara said softly.

Alex shook her head. “It’s not your fault, you didn’t know… _I_ didn’t even know.”

“For what it’s worth,” Lucy chimed in, breaking the seriousness. “Maggie’s way cuter than Danny.”

“Hey,” Alex laughed, pushing Lucy’s shoulder, trying to hide her smile and the stupid wave of jealousy that ran through her.

Lucy laughed. “Easy there Alex, she’s all yours,” she teased and Alex blushed.

“Shut up, she’s not…mine,” Alex sputtered awkwardly and Lucy and Kara grinned at Alex’s embarrassment.

“But you want her to be,” Kara sung, teasing and Alex gave them a pointed look.

“I swear to God, don’t make me regret telling you,” she said but she secretly loved the teasing.

Lucy laughed. “Okay, in all seriousness, what are you going to do?”

Alex let out an exhale, looking down. “I don’t know.”

“You should tell her,” Lucy said softly. “It’s pretty obvious she likes you too.”

Alex felt her heart flutter at that, but she didn’t want to get her hopes up. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Lucy said. “You want me to tell her for you?” she offered with a smile.

“No thanks,” Alex immediately shot down Lucy’s far too generous offer. “I can do it.”

“Alright, Romeo,” Lucy teased.

Alex rolled her eyes at her but she couldn’t contain her smile.

 

 

Alex waited for the right opportunity to tell Maggie. It took her two weeks to actually work up the courage to tell her.

It was the last week of school and they were hanging out in the library during their free period. Finals were over and the atmosphere in school was easy and relaxed. Maggie seemed to be in a good mood and they had been laughing together about something funny that had happened with a customer at Maggie’s work.

It was just them two together sitting in the corner of the library and Alex knew that she wouldn’t find a better opportunity. And she didn’t want to wait any longer. She wanted Maggie to know.

Alex let out a big exhale, fiddling nervously with the pen that was in her hand.

Maggie noticed Alex’s nervousness and looked up from her book. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Alex said but her smile was not so convincing from the look that Maggie gave her and Alex sighed.

“Have you-“ Alex started but she stuttered in her nerves, changing the sentence. “Lucy was telling me it’s her and James’ anniversary in a couple weeks.”

Maggie’s expression showed a little confusion at the change of subject but she smiled. “Oh yeah? How long have they been together?”

“Two years.”

“Wow, that’s pretty good.”

Alex nodded. “Yeah, she was telling me about how they first started dating and…it just got me thinking about some things- like…how do you even go about telling the person you like that you like them?”

 _Oh_ Maggie thought. Alex liked someone. It was obvious from the change of subject and the way she was behaving. And if Maggie was being honest, she had noticed that Alex had been acting strange for some weeks now. And now she understood why.

Was Alex asking her advice about how to ask her crush out? Because Maggie had tried that once before and it had ended horribly. If Alex knew about that then maybe she wouldn’t be asking Maggie for help. But Alex was straight and so the situation was different. She didn’t have to be careful in the same way that she did.

“You like someone?” Maggie asked softly, putting her book down on the table. They hadn’t really talked about things like this before with each other, so she understood why Alex might feel a little awkward about it.

Alex let out a little nervous laugh but she didn’t deny it.

“It’s…a friend,” is all Alex said.

Maggie smiled softly with a nod. Maggie knew that there were a lot of guys who liked Alex but Alex usually didn’t give any of them the time of day but maybe that had changed. It could be any of the boys from her classes.

Maggie pushed down the small, irrational prick of jealousy that settled in her chest that she had no right to feel.

She didn’t really know what to say but she knew that Alex was looking for some encouragement from her. “That’s really great Alex,” she managed to get out as sincerely as possible. And she was happy for her.

Alex nodded, nervous. “But I don’t want to make things awkward if they don’t like me back. I really don’t want to ruin the friendship.”

Maggie nodded softly, she understood that. But who wouldn’t like Alex back?

“Do you think you have a chance?”

Alex looked at her for a small moment, at Maggie’s kind eyes and sweet smile and she felt her heart start to beat faster. “I hope so,” she breathed.

Maggie’s expression softened at that, endeared by Alex’s uncertainty. She wondered who it was who was making Alex act like this.

She gave Alex a soft smile, deciding to just be honest. “Alex…I can’t imagine anyone not liking you back.” The words were friendly and innocent, unaware that Alex was talking about her and Alex’s heart skipped a beat.

Alex knew how difficult she could be but Maggie seemed to think that it was impossible for someone not to like her back and it made Alex’s heart start beating even faster.

Alex was quiet for a moment and Maggie went back to reading her book.

“What about you?” Alex said, out of nowhere.

“Hmm?” Maggie looked up from her book and Alex’s heart started beating even faster at having Maggie’s soft eyes on her- she almost wished that Maggie would look back down.

Alex knew that there was no turning back now so she just went for it. “Would you like me back?”

“Me?” Maggie’s eyebrows scrunched up a little at Alex’s question and she let out a little chuckle because Alex didn’t usually make jokes like this. But when Alex’s face remained serious and terribly nervous, Maggie’s expression fell and she stilled, the meaning of Alex’s words hitting her. “ _M_ e _?_ ”

Alex tried to control her breathing. She could hear her heartbeat loud in her ears. She let out a nervous, breathless laugh. “Yeah…you. I like you…a lot.”

In that second, every interaction they had had went through Maggie’s mind, trying to remember anything that could have suggested this.

It could have been anything. But Maggie had just assumed it was all platonic.

Maggie tried to collect her thoughts. But her instinctual reaction was to abort. Because this was not part of her plan. She couldn’t believe that Alex was telling her she liked her. But she couldn’t even let herself think too much about the fact because alarm bells were ringing inside Maggie’s head that told her that this couldn’t happen.

Alex was at a completely different point in her life right now, mentally. And Maggie was still trying to sort out the mess that was hers. She couldn’t bring Alex into that. Alex didn’t know the full extent of things.

And above all, she didn’t want to risk the friendship that had become so important to her. They were in high school, and high school relationships didn’t work out. She didn’t want to start something knowing that it would end badly. She cared too much about Alex to do that.

Alex held her breath as she waited for Maggie to say something.

“Alex-I-” Maggie breathed- and it was the wrong thing to say.

Alex’s stomach dropped because she could tell from Maggie’s tone and her expression that she was trying to let her down gently.

“You don’t feel the same,” Alex said bluntly, without letting Maggie finish her sentence because panic mode had already gone off. All her courage had burnt out and all she wanted to do was run away in embarrassment.

Maggie sighed. “Alex…”

“No, it’s okay,” Alex said, quickly packing up her stuff, too embarrassed to let the conversation continue.

Maggie tried to call after her but Alex just ran out of there without a backward glance.

And Maggie just watched her go, because she didn’t know what to say. Her own mind was swarming with a million thoughts and her heart with a million feelings.   

She dropped her head into her hands, trying to make sense of what had just happened. How things had changed so unexpectedly.

 

 

Alex ran straight home, without even waiting for Kara.

Eliza was in the kitchen when Alex came in through the door and she saw the tears down Alex’s face as Alex tried to hide them and make her escape upstairs.

“Alex? Alex, come here.” She went up to her immediately and Alex couldn’t hide her tears. “What happened?” Alex was an emotional person but she had never seen her come home from school like this.

Alex tried to get her words out but couldn’t and Eliza took her into a hug, shushing her. She held her against her, waiting for her to calm down until she could talk. “Sweetheart, what happened?”

Alex tried to force herself to calm down. Her mom sounded really worried and Alex knew she was overreacting but she couldn’t help it. “It’s nothing,” she managed to get out.

Eliza leaned back, taking Alex’s face in her hands, wiping her tears away. Alex’s eyes told her otherwise. “It’s obviously something sweetheart.”

Eliza waited for Alex to say something but Alex still didn’t answer, even though Eliza could see that she wanted to.

“Alex,” Eliza said softly after a moment. “Does this have anything to do with Maggie?”

Alex looked up in surprise, eyebrows crinkled. “Maggie?”

And Eliza’s eyes softened at Alex’s surprise. Her daughter had always been bad at hiding her emotions. And anyone would have been able to see the shift in Alex since befriending Maggie. It was obvious how Alex behaved around her.

“Honey, you talk about her all the time,” she said gently, and she watched as Alex’s face transformed with so many emotions. She smiled at her softly, wanting to ease whatever fears she may have. “You’ve always been awful at hiding things.”

Alex fell against Eliza in both relief and a need for comfort. Alex knew that her mom would accept her but she had still been scared about telling her.

“Honey, is that why you’re upset, because you like Maggie? You know I love you no matter what.”

Alex hugged her mom tighter. She shook her head, and her face scrunched up in pain again.

“What is it Alex?”

“I-“ Alex found it difficult to get her words out over her tears. “I told her I like her but-“ Alex started crying again, unable to finish the sentence.

“Oh sweetheart,” Eliza breathed, as the understanding fell over her. She took Alex back into her arms. Alex cried against her and Eliza shushed her, stroking her hair.

Alex shook her head against Eliza’s chest. “I feel so stupid.”

“You’re not stupid,” Eliza said strongly. “You’re so incredibly smart and brave.”

It was at that moment that Kara came through the door.

“Alex, you didn’t wait for me-“ She stopped short as she saw the scene. “What happened?”

Alex sniffed. “I… told Maggie.”

Kara’s eyebrows rose in surprise. One, at the fact that Alex had done it. Two, at the fact that Eliza seemed to know about it. And three, at the fact that Alex was crying what looked like sad tears.

“What did she say?”

“She said she doesn’t like me?”

Kara was surprised to hear that. “She said that?”

Alex sighed. “No…but she didn’t have to. I just…saw in it in her face…it was so embarrassing.”

Kara came over to hug her too. “I’m so sorry Alex.”

Alex couldn’t handle all the pity right now, she just wanted to go to her room she could cry on her own. “I just…need to be alone for a while.”

And Eliza and Kara let her go to have some space.

 

 

After Alex had left the library, Maggie had sat there for a while, trying to figure out what to do. Alex had run off without letting her explain herself. And Maggie didn’t want Alex to think that she didn’t like her, or to assume things about why she had reacted the way she had.

She decided that she had to talk to her and she didn’t want to leave it too long. The sooner she explained things to Alex the better it would be. She really didn’t want their friendship to be ruined by this.

She made her way over to Alex’s house. She didn’t know exactly what to expect. She was hoping that Alex would open the door because she didn’t know how much Eliza knew, and she didn’t want her to be angry or disappointed with her.

She took a deep breath in before she knocked on the door. And Eliza answered the door.

“Maggie,” Eliza said with a concerned expression and Maggie immediately knew that Eliza knew.

Maggie held her hands together, nervous. “Mrs Danvers,” she tried to smile a little. “Is Alex home?” she asked softly, hoping Eliza wouldn’t tell her to go home.

Eliza could see how nervous and concerned Maggie was. And Eliza knew her daughter, how she could be impulsive and rash. And from what Alex had said earlier, she knew that Alex had probably not given Maggie a chance to explain things.

Eliza nodded gently. “She’s upstairs honey.” And she opened the door for Maggie to come in. Maggie saw Kara and gave her an awkward hello before going up to Alex’s room.

She knocked on the door and she heard Alex’s soft ‘come in’ and opened the door.

Alex was lying down on the bed and when she saw that it was Maggie she sat up awkwardly in surprise, wiping at her dry tears and pushing her hair behind her ears.

“Hi,” Maggie said softly, awkwardly. “Your mom said I could come up.”

Alex just nodded, too embarrassed to say anything. She had made herself vulnerable and now she felt foolish. She could tell that Maggie was nervous. She wanted to tell Maggie that she didn’t have to explain why she didn’t feel the same way. Alex wasn’t conceited enough to think that Maggie had to like her. She had just thought that there was something there. But she had obviously read things wrong.

There was a horrible tension between them- an undeniable shift in things between them that Alex hated. It wasn’t like Maggie was just a casual friend and they could just easily forget about this. Maggie was one of her closest friends- someone she told things to that she didn’t tell anyone else. And now there was this horrible thing between them and Alex didn’t know if they could get past it.

They were in front of each other, not knowing what to say and Maggie tried to break the awkwardness. She didn’t want to lose their friendship. It had become one of the most important things to her and she knew she had to be vulnerable and honest with Alex to salvage it.

“Alex...” she started softly.

“You don’t need to explain,” Alex interrupted. “I get that you don’t like me like that.” Alex hated how petulant she sounded but she couldn’t help it right now.

Maggie walked over to sit on the end of Alex’s bed. There was plenty of space between them but Alex still shifted a little to sit straighter.

“I-“ Maggie sighed, fumbling in her explanation. She wanted to get this right. “Alex, if you want me to leave I will but…I didn’t want to leave things as they were.”

Alex was looking down at her own hands and didn’t say anything and Maggie sighed.

“Alex…I would never want to hurt you, I-… I’m just not ready to…date anyone right now.” Maggie looked down. “I know I don’t talk about it much but my life is still so messed up and- I would never want to get you mixed up in all that. It wouldn’t be fair to you. And with school and work and everything, I’m just focused on getting through school, I’m not even thinking about anything else.” Maggie tried hard to keep her emotions under control, because she wasn’t used to talking about these things so openly but she wanted Alex to understand. “Our friendship means too much to me to risk it.”

The truth was, Maggie’s emotional baggage was still so fresh and she needed time to sort that out. And she knew that Alex deserved more than that. She deserved someone else.

And she was certain that this crush or whatever it was would fade, and then what? They would have ruined something special. And Maggie didn’t want to go through that again. The wounds of losing her family were still so fresh, Maggie had to heal those first. And there was only a year left until graduation- Maggie couldn’t take her eyes off her goal.

Alex listened quietly all the while, and Maggie could only hope that Alex trusted her enough to believe her.

Alex had been so caught up in her own newfound feelings that she hadn’t even stopped to consider Maggie’s side in this- she had just assumed her feelings and situation. It was clear that things weren’t as easy as Maggie was letting on.

Alex felt foolish about the way she had behaved and she didn’t know what to say. But she was too embarrassed to explain that to Maggie just yet. She just nodded and Maggie knew that Alex wasn’t going to say anything right now so she said a gentle goodbye. At least Alex knew her reasons, even if she was still upset with her. She hoped it was enough to keep her friendship.

“Okay, so I’ll go…I hope you feel better,” Maggie said softly and it was so sincere that it made Alex’s heart ache. Maggie was being so soft with her and she was offering her comfort despite how little Alex was giving her in return.

When Maggie left, Alex went back to being curled up on the bed.

 

 

Alex stayed in her room the entire evening and she thought about what Maggie had told her. It was clear to her how much Maggie cared about their friendship. And she did too. The only reason she had hesitated in telling Maggie was because she didn’t want to do anything to hurt their friendship. She hadn’t considered the possibility of things ending up like this but now that they had, she knew that she had to work through things so that she didn’t lose her friend.

The next morning she called Maggie to ask if she was free to meet to talk. Maggie said she was and she came over to Alex’s house later that afternoon.

They went up to sit in Alex’s room again like yesterday.

Maggie could see how nervous Alex looked, as if she was finding it difficult to find the right words to start what she wanted to say.

“How are you?” Maggie asked softly.

“Good,” Alex said and then looked down. “I’m better.” She was silent for a moment before she spoke again. “Maggie, I-I overreacted yesterday. I just thought that-“ She shook her head, changing the sentence. “I shouldn’t have assumed, I’m-“

But Maggie shook her head, refusing to let Alex apologise. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” She couldn’t let Alex think that she had assumed things entirely wrong because she hadn’t. It’s just that things were more complicated that that and Alex didn’t know the full extent of it. “You didn’t know any of that stuff.”

And Alex’s heart softened for Maggie. Maggie was so good at calming her down and making her feel not so foolish. She was focusing entirely on Alex even though this situation must have been awful for her too.

“How are you?” Alex asked.

And Maggie’s furrowed eyebrows softened, and she gave Alex a small, soft smile. “I’m okay.” Maggie looked at Alex a moment. She hadn’t really stopped to think about the fact that this meant that Alex liked girls. She knew how difficult that could be to process and she wanted to be there for Alex. She wanted Alex to be able to talk about it with her if she wanted to, despite how awkward it might be.

Maggie smiled a little brighter. “Seriously, though- you. When did you- I mean-,” Maggie tried to ask as gently as possible. “So… you like girls?”

Alex flustered a little at the question because she hadn’t truly ever liked anyone except Maggie. But ever since realising her feelings for Maggie, now that she looked back on it she realised she had had crushes on girls before without realising it. But this thing with Maggie was far stronger than any crush she had ever had before.

She let out a nervous breath and nodded a little. “Yeah.”

Maggie just nodded, tentatively broaching the subject. “Have you told anyone?”

Alex nodded softly. “Kara knows, and so does my mom.” Alex let out a little laugh. “She guessed actually, I don’t know how.” She didn’t tell Maggie what her mom had said about her knowing because Alex talked about Maggie so much.

Maggie smiled a little. “She’s your mom,” she said, as if that was explanation enough. Her smile turned a little sad as she thought about her own mom. Maggie had never explicitly hidden anything or pretended to be into boys but Maggie supposed that when someone tried to ignore something hard enough then they could completely overlook the truth that was right in front of them. She was so relieved that that wasn’t the case for Alex.

“How did they react?”

“They were really great about it, my mom told me she loves me no matter what.”

Maggie felt a little ache in her heart but she smiled, she would hate for Alex to go through what she had.

Alex looked up at Maggie and she immediately realised her insensitivity. “Maggie, I’m sorry. I didn’t think, I-“

But Maggie shook her head with a small smile, trying to keep things light. “Hey, why are you apologising?” She looked Alex in the eye, earnest. “You don’t have to hide these things from me.” That’s one of the reasons why she kept things to herself, because she didn’t want people tip-toeing around her or dimming their own happiness to protect her feelings. “I’m so happy for you,” she said sincerely.

Alex felt her emotions start to well up again at Maggie’s words and she just leaned forward to take her into a hug. It was awkward but Alex fought past it because she really just wanted to show Maggie how much she appreciated her. She knew they both needed the comfort. “Thank you,” she whispered and Maggie just nodded against her shoulder.

Maggie felt her own emotions coming up too. She wasn’t used to being so open and she hadn’t expected this conversation to leave her feeling so raw. She knew she had to leave before she started feeling it even more.

She leaned back from the hug with a smile. “Anytime,” she said. “I’m… here whenever you need to talk.”

Alex wiped at the single tear that had fallen down her cheek. She looked up at Maggie, sincere. She knew it was difficult for Maggie to open up like this but she wanted Maggie to know that she could- that she had someone to talk to about her problems too. “And me- for you.”

Maggie nodded and left with a soft goodbye.

It was clear that things were still awkward between them but Alex was glad that they had had this conversation.

She hoped it was enough to get their friendship back to how it was.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! im sorry for the long wait! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it...

 

The last week of school passed by just like that. They saw each other in school but didn’t hang out much after like they usually did.

Maggie was trying to give Alex some space and, if she was being honest, maybe she needed some too. Just to give them some time to get over the awkwardness of things.

And when summer break started, they both got busy with their separate things. Maggie was working overtime to save money to pay for a car, and Alex was doing an internship at her mom’s lab. So they didn’t see each other for the first couple weeks of summer break.

But when Lucy came back from having visited family abroad, she messaged everyone in the group chat, asking to meet up that weekend. And they all agreed.

Maggie really wanted to see Alex but after having gone so long without seeing her, she felt nervous about it. Because she didn’t know how things stood between them at the moment. And she still felt like a bit of an outsider in the group. She didn’t know how much the guys knew about what had happened and she didn’t want things to be awkward.

But she did want to see everyone again. She had missed hanging out with them.

On Friday night, Maggie arrived a little later than usual and everyone was already there by the time she got there.

Lucy answered the door to her and they hugged and Lucy started talking like normal which settled Maggie’s nerves a little.

Her eyes glanced across the room and saw Alex sitting on the couch, playing a video game with Winn. And when their eyes met, Maggie smiled at her softly.

Maggie went to take off her jacket and put it with all the others and she saw Alex give the game controller to Kara before walking towards her. She stopped just short of Maggie and Maggie smiled at her, a little nervous.  

“Hi,” Maggie said.

 “Hi.” Alex’s voice was soft and she looked nervous. “I’m glad you came.”

And Maggie’s breathed out a small smile of relief. And they both stood there for an awkward second, not knowing exactly what to say.

“How-“

“I-“

They both started at the same time and stopped, letting out a little laugh.

“You go,” Maggie said softly, nodding at Alex.

Alex looked down and then back up at Maggie, nervous. “How have you been?”

Maggie’s smile softened. “I’ve been good,” she nodded. Maggie’s summer had mostly just been spent working overtime and staying at home. And since finally getting a car, she had been going on a lot of drives on her own. It helped to take her mind off things. “Just busy with work and stuff. I got a car,” she added with a smile.

“Maggie, that’s great!” Alex beamed, taking her into a hug without thought. Alex knew that Maggie had been saving up to buy herself a car. And Maggie chuckled at Alex’s enthusiasm. It was just an old car but Maggie had saved up and paid for it herself and she was proud. 

Alex pulled back, fumbling a little bit at her reaction. She was feeling a pleasant buzz from the couple drinks she had had to calm herself down, knowing that Maggie was going to come.

And Maggie chuckled too, a little flustered. “Yeah,” Maggie nodded, playing down her happiness. “It’s not exactly my dream car but it’s alright for now.”

There was a pause in the conversation and their smiles softened and Maggie looked at Alex. “How about you? How have you been?”

Alex looked down at the question. She found Maggie’s soft look of concern a little overwhelming.

“Good. Busy,” Alex said. “Mom’s got me working really hard with the internship.” She had got a summer internship at her mom’s lab and, while it was hard work, Alex gave herself more work than she needed to do, it helped to keep her mind off things. But she didn’t want Maggie to think she had been purposely avoiding her even though she kind of had. “But I’m enjoying it a lot,” she added, and Maggie smiled at her in that soft way she did which always made Alex’s heart flutter. And now was no exception.

She changed the subject to control her fluster. “Uh-would you like a drink?” she asked and Maggie nodded with a smile, following her to join the others.

They sat with the others for a while, talking and catching up. And Maggie got talking to James, and Alex didn’t want to disrupt their conversation, so she played some more video games with Winn and Kara.

Alex watched Maggie from the side, finding it cute how Maggie’s face lit up whenever she laughed.

After her game, she gave the controller to James and went to sit next to Maggie and Maggie smiled at her when she joined her.

“You… up for a game? “ Alex asked, gesturing to the pool table, voice hopeful.

Maggie smiled, narrowing her eyes playfully. “You mean, am I up for getting my ass kicked?”

Alex laughed, and Maggie’s heart settled at the sound.

“Well, I wasn’t gonna put it like that but…” Alex joked and Maggie shook her head at her with a laugh, pushing her up towards the table.

 

At the end of the night, Maggie showed Alex her car and they lingered outside it, just before parting.

“I had a good time tonight,” Alex said. “It was a nice break from all the work.”

And Maggie smiled. “Me too. I’m glad we got to catch up,” she said sincerely and Alex looked up at her for a moment, considering her words.

“I know-“ Alex started nervously. “I know- things have been awkward ever since I…told you I liked you,” Alex said nervously. And Maggie was surprised that Alex was even bringing it up again. She thought that Alex would want to try and forget all about it. Maybe it was because of the few drinks she had had. “But I’ve missed you.”

Maggie lowered her head a little at the declaration. “I wanted to give you some space, in case you needed it.”

Alex looked down and nodded. “That’s—thank you. I think…I did need it. But I…. don’t anymore. I miss you—I miss us hanging out and being friends and I don’t want to stop being friends---I want to get back to how things were before.”

Maggie just listened to Alex as she rambled, and she was still so surprised at Alex’s ability to be so honest and vulnerable with her. She looked at Alex gently. “I still want to be friends too,” she said softly. It was one of the things she wanted the most. She didn’t want to screw up their friendship.

And Alex let out a big breath as if she had been wanting to say that and hear Maggie’s response for so long and she smiled wide.

“Okay, so…friends.” Alex held out her hand to shake and Maggie laughed, completely endeared and took her hand.

“Friends.”

 

Things were better after that but still a little awkward. They maintained their teasing, playful banter but there were some things- little things they would question or think twice about- and it sometimes made things awkward in a way they hadn’t been before. But it didn’t hinder their friendship. It was strange, but they somehow became even closer. Having both been so vulnerable with each other and trusting each other with their feelings, their bond was even stronger now than it had been before. They were softer with each other now, more caring.

The rest of summer was spent just like that. Alex was busy with her internship and Maggie with work but whenever they were free they would hang out with the gang, and towards the end of summer they started to hang out by themselves again. 

 

 

When school started again, they were happy to find that they were in most of the same classes together. They went back to their usual after school study sessions and things were feeling almost like normal again.

At school, Alex hadn’t officially come out yet but the news got out somehow anyway. Alex had been nervous about people at school finding out. She didn’t want anyone treating her differently or for things to change but things didn’t change that much. People gossiped about her behind her back for a few days but Alex realised she didn’t care so much- she still had the same friends and she was happy. She didn’t have the time to worry about anything else.

 

One lunchtime, her and Maggie were sitting outside together on the bench, laughing about something or other when some guy in their grade passed them and made a comment.

“Hey Alex,” he called and Alex turned to look at him. It was Jake, a jock in their grade who had attempted to ask Alex out before. But Alex had always turned him down because he was a douche. “I’ve heard the rumour going around…I knew there had to be a reason for you to turn me down. But I wouldn’t have guessed you were a dyke.” He grinned at her. “I still I think I could change your mind about that though.”

He was laughing, thinking that Alex would be flattered by his attention.

Alex looked at Maggie and Maggie just shook her head at her, telling her to ignore it but Jake was still laughing and Alex couldn’t help it. She stood up from the bench and walked up to him.

“What did you say?”

“Just don’t think you should call off all men before you’ve tried a real one.”

Alex scoffed out a laugh. “And you think that’s you?”

Jake grinned and looked her up and down and Alex felt her skin crawl. “Why don’t you give me a try and find out.”

“I wouldn’t ‘give you a try’ if you were the last person on earth,” she spat out.

Jake was still grinning as if he loved riling Alex up and Alex felt her anger grow even more

Jake looked behind Alex at Maggie. “The hot new girl you’ve been so cosy with could join us too if you want.” And Alex felt her blood boil, she didn’t want him to so much as think about Maggie. “She a dyke too?”

Alex held in her anger for a second and she pretended to look back at Maggie before turning around and punching him square in the face.

And he wasn’t expecting it at all, she got him right on the nose and it was bleeding. He brought his hand to his face, holding it in pain.

Adrenaline was running through Alex and she didn’t even care that she had made him bleed. “Remember that before you think about opening your mouth again.”

And the anger in Alex’s voice and his own embarrassment at having everybody around them watching had him cowering and stumbling away towards the building.

Alex clenched her fist, the pain throbbing. She was still feeling the anger coursing through her when she felt Maggie’s hands on her shoulders, pulling her back.

“Alex, what was that?”

“He deserved it.”

And Maggie agreed but that didn’t explain Alex’s outburst- she had never seen Alex like this before.

“I know he did, but you could get suspended for something like that.”

“I don’t care,” Alex replied without hesitation.

Maggie let out a little laugh to ease the tension. “Alright Tyson,” Maggie joked as she led her back to the bench to sit down.

Maggie turned serious again. She knew that Alex had probably never had anything like that ever said to her before. “Look, Alex, I know it’s hard hearing stuff like that but you can’t react in a way that could get you into trouble.”

“It’s not fair, he was the one in the wrong.”

Maggie softened, knowing the feeling. “I know but it’s not always that simple when it comes to these things.” Maggie had been treated differently her entire life simply because of things she couldn’t change. Nothing about it was fair but she knew that you couldn’t deal with it like that.

She remembered in her old school there was a boy in the grade above her who used to get picked on just because people thought he was gay. He wasn’t even out but he used to regularly get beaten up after school and none of the teachers ever did anything about it. And Maggie had even once worked up the courage to mention it to her dad but he had just dismissed it, saying he couldn’t do anything about it. And Maggie had felt so angry and scared.  She had felt so helpless.

And even here in California where things were better, Maggie knew that things were far from perfect. And she knew that you couldn’t be too careful when it came to these things. Even Alex, who had the privilege of being able to act rashly about some things, unlike Maggie did.

Alex sighed, she knew Maggie was right but she had just been so angry in that moment and when he had mentioned Maggie, Alex hadn’t been able to control herself.

“He can’t get away with talking like that.”

And Maggie shared Alex’s frustration. The feeling of wanting to take things into your own hands instead of depending on a messed up system. But she didn’t want Alex getting into trouble.

“I know,” Maggie said sadly. “You can report it.”

Alex rolled her eyes, fighting her annoyance, she didn’t know how much good reporting it would do. Punching him was so much more satisfying. But she looked at Maggie and she could see that she had her worried. She didn’t know how Maggie could be so calm about these things. Alex couldn’t control her anger at all.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly and Maggie softened with a smile and shook her head.

“Don’t be sorry,” Maggie smiled. She didn’t want Alex to apologise to her. She just wanted her to be safe. She nudged Alex’s shoulder with her own to get Alex to smile. “Where did you learn to throw punches like that anyway?” she teased. “It was badass.”

And Alex’s lips quirked up a little against her will at Maggie’s tone and she soon started laughing with Maggie, finding it impossible to fight her smile. And the tension was broken.

 

The next day, Alex and Maggie were at their lockers and Alison, a girl that Alex knew from her History class in freshman year, came up to them.

“I heard what happened with you and Jake yesterday, that was awesome. I wish I had seen it,” she smiled at Alex. And Alex laughed, a little embarrassed, shrugging off the comment.

“Yeah- thanks, it felt good,” she joked back and Alison laughed. And Maggie just watched their interaction from her locker.

Alison looked a little nervous talking to Alex.

“So… you guys going to the party on Friday,” she finally asked, looking between Alex and Maggie.

“Uh, I don’t know,” Alex said. “Probably not.” They had heard about the party but hadn’t really said anything about going to it. They usually just hung out together on Fridays.

“We might,” Maggie offered when she saw the disappointed look on Alison’s face and Alison perked up.

“Cool, so…I’ll hopefully see you at the party,” she said smiling, mostly at Alex. And Alex nodded with a smile.

When Alison left, Alex turned to Maggie. “You wanna go to the party?”

And Maggie just gave Alex a look.

“What?” Alex asked and Maggie chuckled a little.

“That girl likes you,” she said and Alex’s eyebrows shot up.

“Who? Alison?” Alex exclaimed. “No.”

“Yes,” Maggie chuckled in reply.

“She was just being friendly.” Alex had gotten no hint that Alison liked her.

And Maggie just laughed at Alex’s obliviousness and walked off, leaving Alex fumbling, trailing behind her.

 

Alex mentioned the Alison thing to Lucy that night, telling her about what Maggie had said about Alison liking her. And Lucy agreed with Maggie. And she insisted that they all go to the party together.

“I’m not sure about this,” Alex said to her, her expression unsure.

“Why not?” Lucy replied, confused. “She’s cute and funny…and artistic.” She was in James’ art class and he had said that she was cool.

“Still,” Alex said, “I don’t really like her like that.”

Lucy laughed a little. “Give her a chance, you don’t even know her that well yet. Go to the party, get to know her a bit more and then see what happens.”

Alex sighed. She knew deep down that there was no point because she wasn’t interested and she still had feelings for Maggie but she said yes anyway- if only to get Lucy off her case.

 

 

So that Friday night, Alex, Maggie, James and Lucy all went to the party together. Maggie hadn’t been to a party since coming here and she was curious to see what it would be like. The parties in Blue Springs had been so lame.

When they got there, Maggie was surprised to find how big the house was. The music was loud and the smell of beer heavy. And there were so many people, many of whom they didn’t recognise. They must have been from different schools.

“I swear there are more people here right now than the entire population of my hometown,” Maggie said to Alex over the music as they walked through the groups of people and Alex laughed at her. 

They were given cups of beer as soon as they arrived. They all stayed together, talking and laughing and drinking but it wasn’t long before Alison saw them and came up to them.

“I’m really glad you guys made it,” she beamed.

And she got talking to Alex and, after a while, asked if Alex wanted to go outside with her. Alex hesitated a little, not wanting to leave Maggie. Even though James and Lucy were still there, Alex didn’t want to leave her. She looked to Maggie who smiled at her like she was being silly. Maggie didn’t want Alex to worry about her, she wanted her to have fun.

So Alex went off with Alison and, after a little while, when Lucy’s favourite song had come on, she had asked Maggie to come dance with her and James but Maggie had declined with a little laugh. So Lucy and James went off to dance and Maggie was left on her own. Which she didn’t really mind. She was used to hanging out on her own.

She grabbed another cup of beer and found a seat and sat there, observing the party. She watched everyone as they drank and laughed and flirted with each other, with seemingly no worries in the world. And Maggie watched them quietly, feeling wistful. 

There must have been something quite strong mixed in her beer because Maggie was feeling quite tipsy already.

And soon, a girl that Maggie didn’t recognise came and sat with her and started talking to her. She was pretty- blonde and tall and had a great smile and was clearly interested in Maggie. The atmosphere of the party, with the music and the drinking and the dancing bodies around them was making Maggie feel loose, and she didn’t mind the distraction. She wanted to forget about Alex and what she was doing with Alison so she flirted with the girl too.

And soon, the girl asked Maggie if she wanted to go somewhere a little quieter. And Maggie’s body was thrumming with something. She wanted something. She wanted to let go and have some fun- something she just couldn’t let herself do with Alex.

And Maggie had kissed a boy before, but never a girl. And she wanted to. And this girl had a gorgeous smile and she smelt nice and she kept looking at Maggie’s lips and Maggie didn’t want to resist it. And so she nodded and the girl took her by the hand, leading her to a more private corner of the house.

 

Alex was now inside, where Alison was showing her some of her photography on her phone, and while Alex appreciated the pictures, she wasn’t that interested in it. She was getting bored and just wanted to go back to Maggie and the others. And her phone buzzed with a text from Kara and Alex used it as an excuse to go, claiming that she had to call her sister.

But before she left, Alison asked if they could exchange numbers and so Alex did. She felt a little guilty because she could tell that Alison liked her. And Alex liked her too, she was nice, but Alex didn’t feel that spark. But she still gave Alison her number.

After that, Alex went to look for Maggie. She wasn’t where she had been before and she saw Lucy and asked her if she had seen her but Lucy said no. Alex hoped that Maggie hadn’t left without telling her. Alex continued looking but there were so many people that it was hard to find her. But then she rounded the corner near the stairs and saw two girls kissing against the wall and she stuttered in her step. And then she felt her heart drop as soon as she realised that Maggie was one of them.

“Oh my God,” slipped out of Alex’s mouth before she could stop herself.

Maggie pulled back to see Alex standing there in shock and her eyebrows rose in surprise.

“Oh God,” Alex stuttered, “Sorry- er, I didn’t mean to- interrupt. I was just looking for you.” Alex was talking to Maggie but looking anywhere but at her.

Maggie pushed back from the girl a little bit and shook her head. “No, it’s okay-“

But Alex interrupted her. “No, don’t worry, I’m just out back with Lucy,” Alex said quickly before rushing away.

She ran outside and sat on the steps, feeling so embarrassed, trying to ignore the aching feeling in her heart. But seeing that girl all over Maggie like that- and Maggie kissing her back so strongly. Alex couldn’t get the image out of her head.

And it was only seconds later when Maggie joined her.

Maggie sat down beside her and Alex peeked a glance at her. Maggie’s cheeks were flushed pink and Alex tried to ignore how much it affected her.

They sat there for a moment before Maggie spoke softly. “Where’s Alison?”

Alex looked down. “She’s…she went off with some friends.” Alex felt too embarrassed to admit what had actually happened.

Maggie nodded slowly. “What did you guys do?”

“Nothing,” Alex said, fiddling with her hands. “We just talked a bit. She showed me her art and stuff.” She paused before adding. “She asked for my number at the end.”

Maggie pressed her lips together for a second but managed a smile. She wanted Alex to know that she was happy for her. “That’s great,” Maggie said.

And there was small, awkward pause before Alex spoke.                                                             

“What about…that girl?”

Maggie sighed at the question. “She-“ Maggie stuttered a little bit. She didn’t really know what to say. Her eyebrows furrowed as she thought. “I don’t even remember her name,” Maggie confessed with a little laugh and Alex let a hollow one out too.

“Seems like you got to know her pretty well though,” Alex added lightly, trying to keep the jealousy out of her tone.

But Maggie detected it and let out a little breath, looking down.

“That was…nothing just- some fun.”

“You don’t have to explain,” Alex said, looking down.

“I know,” Maggie sighed. She didn’t know why she felt the need to explain anyway. “But it wasn’t anything.”  She nudged Alex’s shoulder with her own, trying to keep things light. “It’s not like we exchanged numbers or anything.”

Alex forced a smile to come through, knowing how hard Maggie was trying to keep things from being awkward.

They sat there for a little while longer, the silence now less awkward.

Maggie wasn’t feeling too great. She felt a little wave of nausea come over her and she leaned forward, head in her hands.

“You okay?” Alex asked from beside her.

“Yeah, just a little nauseous.”

And Alex was feeling the same. And she was getting a headache from all the noise and people.

“You wanna go home?” she asked softly. And Maggie nodded.

They let Lucy and James know that they were going, and then walked home together.

 

The next day, Alex got a message from Alison asking if she wanted to meet up.

Alex had felt bad ever since yesterday, knowing that she hadn’t really given Alison a proper chance. She had still been thinking about Maggie too much. And Lucy had told her as much after the party. She told Alex to try harder and Alex resolved that she would.

So her and Alison met up a couple of times after that. And, all the while, Maggie tried her best to be supportive. She just wanted Alex to be happy and experience everything like she should on her own. With someone who deserved her.

The first time Alex met up with Alison, they just went for ice-cream, it was casual and friendly but at the end, Alison had asked her on a date to the movies. And Alex had said yes. And that second date had felt much less casual and Alex had found it hard to feel comfortable and enjoy it. Because, as hard as Alex tried to get to know Alison and like her as more than a friend, she just couldn’t. And the feeling just got worse the longer things went on. Because she knew deep down that she was using Alison as an excuse to be able to say that she was getting over Maggie.

And when Alison kissed her at the end of their second date, Alex couldn’t keep in it anymore. Because it felt wrong. She couldn’t continue something that she was having to force herself to feel. And she couldn’t continue leading Alison on.

So she had pulled away from the kiss, embarrassed and regretful, and Alison had gotten the hint before Alex even had to say it. Alex apologised, telling her that she would prefer if they just stayed friends. And it had been awkward but Alex had felt so relieved afterwards.

 

Alex didn’t really know how to bring it up with Maggie so Maggie didn’t find out until a week later when she asked Alex how things were going with Alison.

Alex told her that they had just decided to remain friends. She didn’t go too deep into explaining things and she didn’t need to because Maggie didn’t ask her too much about it. She tried her best to be interested and act like a good friend but dating and things like that were an awkward subject between them.

So they didn’t talk about it anymore after that.

They were both happy with how things were- with their friends and school and how things were finally getting easier between them.

 

 

It was the weekend before Halloween and Alex invited everyone to hang out at hers to watch some horror movies. Lucy, Winn, and James hadn’t been able to come so it was just Alex, Kara and Maggie.

And Kara was already protesting over Alex’s choices. “Can’t we just watch something else, you know horror movies give me nightmares.”

But Alex wasn’t relenting. “Kara, it’s Halloween, we’re watching something scary.”

Kara turned to Maggie, hoping she might side with her.

“You know, Alex made me watch The Shining when I was twelve and I had nightmares for weeks afterwards,” she told Maggie and Alex had the decency to look a little bit guilty and Maggie chuckled at her with a shake of the head.

“Okay, I’ll admit, that was quite bad, but you’re scared of everything.”

“I’m scared of _scary things,_ that’s normal. You’re the weird one.”

Alex smiled smugly. “I just don’t scare easily.”

Maggie gave her an amused look. “Come on, everyone’s scared of something.”

“Yeah, real stuff, not made up things in movies.”

Maggie laughed and Alex looked up at her and smiled.

“Why, what’s your thing?”

Maggie thought about it for a moment and laughed at herself as she remembered. She wasn’t really the type of person to scare easily either but there was one thing that she had always been scared of.

“What?” Alex smiled, intrigued.

Maggie thought about whether she should tell her for a moment before deciding to tell them- if only to make Kara feel a bit better. “Back in Blue Springs, there was a farm that we used to pass every day on the way to school,” Maggie started. “And the farmer kept a scarecrow in his cornfield, it was…the creepiest thing ever. He used to dress it up in a black cloak with a hood, and it used to like flow in the wind and everything and looked totally real.” Maggie laughed at herself as she explained. “My brother used to say that it would capture little kids in the night and eat them. And I believed it for a really long time. I used to have so many nightmares about as a kid.”

Alex started laughing at the end of the story. “So…scarecrows?”

“I was like five years old okay,” Maggie joked, defensively. “And you didn’t see that scarecrow.”

Alex looked at her adoringly. “That is….so adorable,” Alex teased, causing Kara to laugh and Maggie threw a pillow at her at the teasing.

“Just pick a movie.”

Kara eventually gave in and they started watching The Texas Chainsaw Massacre which none of them had seen before. The opening was pretty scary and Alex and Maggie were really into it but at a particularly gruesome part, Kara got too scared.

“Okay, no, I can’t watch this,” she said, getting up from the couch. And they both laughed at her.

Alex told her to stop being a scaredy-cat but Maggie went easier on her.

“Alright, how about something a little less scary,” she offered but Kara declined.

“No, that’s okay, you guys wanna watch this, I’m just gonna go upstairs.”

So Maggie and Alex were left on their own. And they watched the movie like that- sitting on opposite ends of the couch, sharing a blanket and eating popcorn. It was nice.

The movie was good but not nearly as scary as they thought it would be but they still both enjoyed it.

At the end of the movie when Alex went to put the bowls in the kitchen, Maggie got an idea to scare Alex. The lights were already switched off and she turned off the tv too, making the room almost completely dark, and she hid behind the couch. And as soon as Alex walked back in, Maggie jumped out at her and Alex screamed. And Maggie couldn’t contain her laughter, she didn’t think Alex was capable of such a scream.

Alex held her hand to her heart. “Oh my God, Maggie, you asshole!” she exclaimed, but she was fighting her smile. She couldn’t believe she had fallen for that.

Maggie was too busy laughing. “I had to,” she laughed, especially after Alex had laughed at her earlier.

After a second, they heard Eliza call from upstairs. “Girls, is everything okay?”

Maggie supressed her laugh.

“We’re okay mom,” Alex called back. “Maggie just… saw a spider.” She grinned at Maggie and Maggie’s eyebrows lifted in mock offense but she started laughing again too and so did Alex.

Their laughter died down and they just smiled at each other for a second. Maggie broke them out of the moment, looking down at her watch with a sigh.

“I should… probably get going now…it’s late.”

“You could stay here tonight,” Alex said without thinking and she stuttered. She was having so much fun that she didn’t want Maggie to go. “I mean…it’s late, and looks kinda grim outside, you sure you’re gonna be alright?” Maggie’s drive home was about fifteen minutes and it was late, it would be easier for her to stay.

“Yeah, I’ll be alright,” Maggie laughed. “It’s not like you’ve got any scarecrows here in Midvale,” she joked at herself and Alex laughed.

“We may not have those but we still have our very real, human kind of monsters,” Alex joked. “Plus, it’s Halloween…all the weirdos tend to come out.”

Maggie felt her heart warm a little at Alex’s concern but she played it off with a laugh. She narrowed her eyes with a tilt of her head and couldn’t help but tease. “You worried about me?”

Alex blushed but recovered quickly with a scoff. “No, I’d just prefer if you didn’t get kidnapped or murdered.”

Maggie laughed and Alex turned a little less teasing.

“What do you say? We can watch a comedy together, that way Kara won’t have nightmares tonight either.”

Maggie thought about it. She wanted to stay, but she was worried that it might be a little awkward.

Alex could tell that Maggie wasn’t sure about it and she wanted to make Maggie feel more comfortable with the idea.

“You can take my bed and I’ll share Kara’s,” she added. She had a small, hopeful expression that Maggie found too hard to deny.

Maggie smiled, knowing that she was probably overthinking things too much. It was just a friendly sleepover.

“Okay,” she said softly. “Let me just call my aunt and let her know.”

And Alex nodded, trying to contain her smile as she went to tell Kara.

They ended up watching some ridiculous movie of Kara’s choosing and it ended up being funnier than they had expected. Or maybe it was just because they were all in a good mood. They laughed and talked and binged on snacks late into the night. And Maggie was so glad she had stayed.

 

 

A few weeks later, Alex was hanging out at Maggie’s apartment and they were watching Law and Order together. They were playfully arguing over what they thought would happen in the episode when Maggie’s aunt came through the door.

“Hey girls,” she smiled at them as she saw them laughing together on the couch.

“Hi,” they both smiled over at her.

She looked at them sitting closely under the blanket together, sharing snacks and smiled. “You two look all cosy cuddled up together,” she teased, laughing as she saw them blush and straighten a little. "Anyway don’t mind me girls, I’ll be in my room if you need anything,’ she said as she went to her room.

They went back to watching the episode, more quietly now after the interruption.

As they watched the detectives solve the case, Maggie started thinking about her dad. It was hard not to think about him when she watched these shows.

“My dad’s a cop,” she said quietly to Alex and Alex turned to look at her. It wasn’t often Maggie spoke about her family and Alex wanted to know more about her. She wanted Maggie to feel comfortable enough to tell her these things.

“Really?” she said softly, hoping Maggie would tell her some more.

”Yeah,” Maggie nodded. “That’s what I wanna do too,” she admitted softly to Alex. Because Maggie talked about these things with Alex now. She felt comfortable enough telling her. “I wanna help people. Like they do,” she nodded at the screen.

Alex felt her heart soften for her and she smiled at her wide. Alex could totally imagine Maggie as a detective. She was smart and perceptive and patient and passionate about doing good. “You would be perfect as that…a badass good-cop type,” Alex said playfully and Maggie chuckled softly, trying to hide her blush.

“I think it’s perfect,” Alex said softer and Maggie tried to fight how much Alex’s opinion meant to her. “Have you decided on what college?” Alex asked. Alex had always known she was going to Stanford like her parents but she didn’t know where Maggie wanted to go.

Maggie looked down at her hands. “I’ve been looking at colleges in New York,” she said softly. And Alex paused a little, she hadn’t expected Maggie to say that.

“Some of the best colleges for criminal justice are in New York,” Maggie added at Alex’s silence and Alex nodded with a small smile, but was quiet. New York was really far away from California. They would be so far apart. She hadn’t even considered that Maggie would want to go so far. And the reality was sinking in. The idea of them being that far from each other- the very real prospect of them drifting apart.

It left a heavy feeling on Alex’s chest. “Oh,” was all she managed to get out, before recovering. “I mean, that’s great, that would be really good,” she tried to sound enthusiastic.

But Maggie could tell she wasn’t. And Maggie couldn’t ignore the fact that the prospect of New York no longer felt so good anymore.

“I’ve been looking at Berkeley too…as a back-up,” Maggie admitted. Because she had been considering it more seriously recently. It was an excellent college and it was in California and Maggie didn’t want to close up any options when she still wasn’t sure about things.

Alex’s expression immediately brightened. “Yeah Berkeley…Berkeley’s amazing too…then… we wouldn’t be so far from each other either,” Alex said looking down, letting out a little laugh, trying to sound casual, but they both felt the heaviness of the words.

Talking about the future, about their friendship, about how things would be, and Alex admitting so tentatively that she wanted Maggie to stay close, made Maggie’s heart ache. 

They went back to watching the show.

 

Later that evening, after Alex had left, Maggie and Maria were about to get started on dinner together.

Maria turned to Maggie with a smile. “So…you and Alex…” she said, looking up at Maggie with a small smile.

And Maggie looked up at her and blushed at the insinuation. She had never really talked openly with her aunt about liking girls before- she had never talked to any adult about it before, so she found it embarrassing.

“No,” she said, looking down with a little laugh, “we’re just friends.”

“Just friends?”

Maggie blushed again, ducking her head and her aunt laughed warmly.

“I just thought I saw some sparks,” she said softly and Maggie stayed silent because she didn’t know how to respond. She hadn’t told her aunt about what had happened with her and Alex.

Maria’s laugh softened into a smile. She wanted Maggie to feel comfortable about opening up and talking about things, she wanted her to know that she could.

“Whatever she is, it’s nice to see you smiling like this,” Maria said softly and Maggie smiled shyly.

Maria remembered what Maggie had been like when she first came. She was so closed off and sad. Maria used to hear Maggie cry in her room late at night and it used to break her heart. But ever since becoming friends with Alex, Maria had seen such a difference in Maggie and she was so grateful.

Maria smiled softly and walked up to Maggie and gave her a squeeze on the shoulder and small kiss on the head before heading to the kitchen. And Maggie felt a lump in her throat from the simple affectionate gesture. She wasn’t used to it and it a little overwhelming for her. She hoped her aunt knew how grateful she was to have her.

She tried to not make too much of what her aunt had implied about Alex. Maggie knew that her and Alex were close and that it was easy for someone to get the wrong idea, but she didn’t want to let that make things awkward between them. So she ignored it.

 

 

 

The next few weeks went by with them busy with their college applications. And, on top of that and all her school work, she was working more shifts at the coffee shop and she didn’t have time to think about anything else.

And before she knew it, her birthday came along.

The night before her eighteenth birthday, Maggie found it difficult to sleep. For so long she had had all these ideas about how things would be once she turned eighteen. But now it was here, and Maggie just felt hollow.

She wondered if her parents were thinking of her. If they missed her. If they had any regrets. And those thoughts kept her up most of the night.

In the morning, she woke up to the sound of her aunt’s voice talking to someone on the phone. She quickly realised that her aunt was on the phone with her parents and she sounded angry in a way that Maggie had never heard.

“How can you say that?... Maggie’s going to stay with me for as long as she wants to, I don’t care how old she is, and you can’t do anything about that, it’s her decision now.”

And Maggie’s heart sunk in realisation. Her parents weren’t calling to talk to her. They were calling to absolve any responsibility. And to tell her aunt that she shouldn’t keep her any longer. And Maggie fell against the door, not hearing any more of what her aunt said.

She couldn’t believe it. She didn’t know why she had been so naïve as to assume that maybe, by some miracle, things could still change. Who was she thinking of when she imagined such things? Because she knew her parents. But she still couldn’t help wishing for the impossible.

And that’s how her aunt found her later, curled up on her bed, face tear-stained. Her aunt came and lay next to her, taking her into a tight hug, letting her cry against her. And this was the first time that Maggie had ever cried with anyone like this.

Her aunt hushed her as she let out her sobs. “It’s going to be okay, you’re going to be okay,” she promised and Maggie heard the teariness in her voice and she felt her heart constrict more.

Maggie didn’t go to school that day. She couldn’t face seeing anyone, pretending that things were okay when they weren’t. Not today.

Alex messaged her asking where she was and Maggie just replied that she wasn’t feeling too well. She didn’t mention anything about her birthday. She hoped that Alex wouldn’t worry too much or come and visit her because she wasn’t up to seeing anyone today, not even Alex.

In the evening, her aunt came back from work with pizza and snacks, in an effort to cheer her up. Maggie was still feeling awful, she had no appetite, but she tried for her aunt. She knew how hard this was for her too.

After dinner, her aunt surprised her with her birthday present- tickets to a Carla Morrison concert that she had managed to book a few weeks ago. She was a Mexican singer and a favourite of both of theirs. It was one of the first things they realised they had in common.

“I wish I could be giving these to you in happier circumstances, but I promise it’ll be fun.” It was still a few weeks away and Maggie hoped that she would be happier by then.

And Maggie felt like crying again. She didn’t feel like she deserved someone as amazing as her aunt.

They ended the night just watching some silly comedy and Maggie somehow still felt so grateful, even after all that had happened.

 

 

The next couple of weeks went by in a strange blur. And when Valentine’s day came around, Maggie couldn’t rid the ache in her heart. All the memories and feelings came crashing back and she couldn’t hide it.

At school, Alex noticed that Maggie was quiet, more so than usual. Maggie had been acting differently for the past few weeks and Alex had asked her about it but Maggie had just dismissed it and Alex didn’t want to press. She wanted Maggie to feel comfortable enough to open up when she wanted to.

The atmosphere is school was brighter than usual, with hearts and decorations spread around the school. And, as silly as it was, it made Alex smile.

But she could tell that that wasn’t the case for Maggie. It had been a while since they hung out and she wanted to do something to cheer Maggie up.

At the end of the school day, Alex asked Maggie if she wanted to hang out.

“James and Lucy are going out together, and Kara and Winn are busy too, and I was wondering if you wanted to come around mine and watch a movie together or something.”

Maggie hesitated at the offer and Alex saw it and immediately backtracked, thinking Maggie might have thought she was asking for a different reason. “I mean, you know, as-as friends,” she stuttered, blushing, embarrassed at even having to say it and Maggie looked up at her at that, eyes wide.

“No Alex, I know,” she sighed, hating seeing Alex look so embarrassed. “It’s not that- I-“ Maggie sighed again, not knowing what to say and Alex’s embarrassment morphed into concern. She wasn’t used to seeing Maggie like this.

“Maggie, what is it?”

Maggie looked up at Alex, seeing the concern there and then looked down again, overwhelmed. She owed Alex an explanation. Alex had been so open with her about things and Maggie didn’t want to close Alex out.

“It’s just, Valentine’s day…brings back bad memories,” she started softly, voice small. She looked up at Alex who was just watching her with gentle concern.

“It was the day my parents found out about me and kicked me out.” Maggie let out a breath, finding it hard to get her words out. She had never had to explain this to anyone before. Her aunt had known everything before she moved in.

 “I…had a friend who I liked and I- I sent her a note telling her and she told my parents.” Maggie let out a hollow laugh, trying to play down how much her heart still ached at the betrayal and everything that happened after.

Alex’s heart hurt at the pain in Maggie’s voice and face. She felt so angry at the girl who had done this to her. The girl that Maggie had trusted enough to tell her feelings to. How she could be so uncaring in return. Alex couldn’t imagine Maggie being so bold as to do something like that. Maggie was so closed off with her feelings now and it made Alex so sad to think that that wasn’t always the case.

“I haven’t spoken to my parents since that day,” Maggie confessed quietly, and Alex couldn’t believe it. She knew Maggie’s parents had kicked her out but she didn’t know it was so bad that they hadn’t spoken since.

“Not once?” she asked, shocked and Maggie shook her head.

“They called a couple weeks ago on my birthday but we didn’t talk, they just spoke to my aunt.”

Alex’s eyebrows furrowed. “It was your birthday?” And then it clicked. “That day you didn’t come to school?” Maggie nodded and it all made sense to Alex now, why Maggie had been so down the past couple of weeks.

“Maggie, why didn’t you say anything?” Alex felt so bad for not having been able to be there for Maggie like she should. She was hurt that Maggie felt that she couldn’t tell her about this. She wanted Maggie to know that she could and that she should.

“I didn’t want to put all my baggage on you,” Maggie said.

And Alex softened. “We’re friends,” she said, as if that was explanation enough.

Maggie gulped down the lump in her throat. “I know, I just,” she stuttered. She knew she had closed herself off and not been fair to Alex. “I just- didn’t have a reason to celebrate and I didn’t want to think about it,” she admitted, then let out a bitter, hollow laugh. “I mean, it wasn’t exactly how I had pictured my eighteenth birthday.”

Alex’s heart sunk, she didn’t know what to say or how to comfort her. She just took her hand and raised Maggie’s head to look her in the eye.

“I’m so sorry Maggie.”

And Maggie shook her head at the sadness in Alex’s voice. She didn’t want to make Alex sad.

She tried to keep her tears at bay. “No, it’s not your fault,” she said, trying to act strong. “I’m over it anyway. I’m better off without them.”

But Alex saw past Maggie’s words.

She leant down to be closer to Maggie. “It’s okay to not be strong... I mean- I know it’s not the same and I can’t imagine how you’re feeling,” she said. She didn’t know what it was like to have your parents throw you out. To have them so easily abandon you. To have them not love you. Alex couldn’t imagine how unloved Maggie must feel. But she did know what it was like to lose a parent. “But I know how it feels to lose a parent. And just like you said to me…you can talk to me, I’m here for you. You don’t have to keep it all in.”

Alex saw Maggie’s bottom lip tremble and she could tell that Maggie was trying really hard to hold her tears in and it broke Alex’s heart. She had never seen Maggie show her emotions like this and all she wanted to do was comfort her.

She just took her into a hug, and it was awkward for a second. They didn’t really hug much and Maggie wasn’t used to receiving physical affection like this so she tensed for a moment but then softened into it, allowing the comfort. She hugged her back but after a moment, pulled back with a watery laugh, wanting to break the tension.

“I’m okay,” Maggie said. “I’ll be okay.”

But Alex’s expression was still filled with concern and Maggie smiled softly. She wasn’t just saying it, she knew she would be okay. She just needed some time to herself.

“Honestly, I just- it’ll probably be better for me to wallow by myself today, I won’t be very good company.”

And Alex softened in sympathy. She knew the feeling of just wanting to be alone. She didn’t want to insist if Maggie wanted to be on her own. “I get it,” she said softly as she remembered her dad. “But if you change your mind, or just need someone to talk to then I’m here, always.”

Maggie’s heart squeezed at the intensity of Alex’s concern and she smiled at her sadly. “Thank you,” she said softly and Alex took her into another hug, squeezing her goodbye.

 

 

With how down Maggie had been lately, and after finding out about her birthday, Alex just wanted to give her something to smile about. She knew that Maggie didn’t want to make a big deal out of her birthday but Alex wanted to do something for her.

She thought about what to get her. Something special that would make her smile. She had gone out shopping with her mom after school in the hopes of finding something for Maggie but she couldn’t really find anything that she thought Maggie would like. On their way back home, they passed a garden center and Alex suddenly remembered when Maggie had told her that she liked bonsai trees.

They had been watching Karate Kid together at Maggie’s place during Christmas break, Maggie had said that it was one of her favourite movies and Alex could have guessed just from how happy Maggie had been watching it. And when the bonsai tree came on screen, Maggie had mentioned how much she liked them and Alex had found it unbelievably adorable. And she knew that it would make the perfect gift.

When she got home, she looked online to find one that would suit Maggie. In the end, she ended up picking a beautiful Japanese Maple Bonsai. It blossomed red and the reviews said that it was a perfect first choice for a bonsai tree.

It arrived two days later, and the next day Alex took it to school to give to Maggie. Maggie was standing at her locker when Alex first saw her. She was a little nervous about giving it to her because she knew that Maggie had said that she didn’t want to think about her birthday. So Alex didn’t say anything about it being a birthday gift.

“Hey,” she said as she reached Maggie’s locker.

“Hi,” Maggie said, her smile turning a little curious as she saw Alex’s nervous smile. She looked down at the bag in Alex’s hand. “What’s that?”

Alex looked down too. “It’s…for you,” she said, handing it to her, nervous at the confused look on Maggie’s face.

“Me?”

“Yeah,” Alex nodded with a little laugh. “Just because…I remembered you said you liked them and I saw it and thought of you,” she said in a little ramble, hoping Maggie didn’t think it was completely lame, and Maggie looked confused until she looked inside the bag at the box. And the way that understanding came across her face, and then how her eyes softened, made Alex’s heart flutter.

“Alex…” Maggie breathed out. She didn’t know what she had been expecting but it hadn’t been this. She was a bit overwhelmed by the gift. It had just been a passing comment that she had made once, she didn’t think that Alex would even have remembered something like that but she had. And she had got it for her as a gift. She couldn’t control the flutter of her heart. But as she looked down at it again, she couldn’t help but feel like it was too much. It looked expensive, and Maggie knew how much they could cost. She didn’t like the idea of Alex spending so much on her.

“Alex, you shouldn’t have,” she said softly. “I told you I didn’t want anything for my birthday. This must have cost a lot.”

“No,” Alex stopped her. She didn’t want Maggie thinking about that. She knew that Maggie worried about these things and she totally understood why but Alex didn’t have to and she was able to get this for Maggie and she wanted to. But she didn’t want Maggie to feel bad because of it. That had not been her intention. “It’s-don’t worry about that,” she said softly, hoping that Maggie would let it go. 

Maggie looked up at Alex and saw the soft look in her eyes and Maggie softened too. She swallowed her pride and let herself accept the gift. She really did love it, it was so thoughtful and probably the sweetest thing that anyone had ever done for her. She let a small smile come through and Alex smiled back, relieved.

“How did you even remember that I liked them,” Maggie said with a little laugh and Alex laughed too.

She smiled cutely. “I do listen to you, you know,” she said playfully, not admitting that she remembered because of how adorable she had thought it was.

And Maggie laughed softly, her dimples coming through. And there was a small pause as they just looked at each other, and Alex started rambling nervously.

“I read that they’re a really good way of relieving stress and helping with concentration and stuff and so- like, with finals and stuff, I thought this would be a good way to spend your time.”

Maggie tried to control her look of adoration as Alex rambled. She just nodded with a smile, finding it difficult to find the right words.

“I could help you set it up after school if you wanted,” Alex offered shyly.

“That sounds perfect,” Maggie smiled, and Alex was so pleased that Maggie had liked the gift.

 

 

The week of the concert finally arrived but Maggie’s aunt ended up having an unexpectedly busy week at work and so could no longer go.

Maggie told Alex at school the next day. Alex knew that Maggie had been looking forward to going to this concert with her aunt and was upset.

Alex hesitated a little before offering. “I mean, I know I’m not your aunt but…if you wanted someone to go with- I could if you liked?”

Maggie looked up at her, hopeful. “You want to?”

“I’d love to,” Alex smiled, sincere. She didn’t want Maggie’s birthday gift ruined.

“You know she sings in Spanish right?” Maggie said playfully.

“Yes, I know,” Alex laughed.

 

That evening when Alex went home, she looked up Carla Morrison online and the first song that came up was one called ‘eres tu’. She knew enough Spanish to know what that meant- ‘it’s you’. She played the video and the song was gorgeous- a beautiful love song. The singer had a soft, melodic voice that went straight to the heart. And as she watched the video, she realised with surprise that it was of a gay couple’s wedding and it made the song even sweeter. Her heart softened as she thought of Maggie watching this. She knew why Maggie liked her so much. Because she must have given Maggie hope that not everyone in the culture was the way that her family was.

Alex went through a few more songs and they were all beautiful, aching songs about love and love lost. And Alex was filled with heavy thoughts of Maggie.

She soon came across a song that struck her more than the others. It was called ‘todo pasa’ and it was a little different to the others. It was haunting but beautiful and Alex looked up the translation and was instantly touched. She related to the song at once in a different way than to the others and she knew that Maggie would too. It was a song about going through hard times, feeling the crushing weight of all the difficult things about life, but knowing that you will overcome them.

It was a song that spoke the truth of what they were feeling. It felt like the song took the words right out of their mouths. And a song that gave hope. Alex loved it instantly.

She sent an audio of it to Maggie. _Been listening to her music, it’s all so beautiful. I especially love this one._

And Alex received a response seconds later of a beaming smiley face with smiley eyes. _It’s one of my favourites too:):):)_ was Maggie’s simple reply and Alex smiled stupidly at her phone.

 

By the time the concert came around, Alex knew all of her songs which Maggie found so endearing.

Maggie drove them to the hotel where she was playing. When they arrived, Maggie was feeling a little conscious because most of the people there were couples and most of the songs that were going to be sung were romantic ones. But she soon forgot because things with Alex were always so easy. They got lost in conversation and forgot about everything else.           

During the more upbeat songs when everyone joined in singing, so did Alex and Maggie laughed, finding it so cute.

And Alex felt so light too, letting herself be goofy with Maggie in a way that she usually wasn’t able to be with her mom or Kara or the others.

With some of the lyrics that Alex couldn’t remember, she asked Maggie about them and Maggie translated the songs for her, shyly at some parts because the lyrics were deeply romantic, and Alex loved how Maggie blushed as she told her the meanings. Her feelings caught her off guard as she looked at Maggie’s dimples and shy smiles and it made her heart ache when she looked at her for a moment- but she didn’t let it stop her from enjoying this moment with Maggie.

Alex sang along lightly and Maggie couldn’t help but smile in adoration. Alex singing in Spanish was far too cute and was doing too much to her heart.

“What?” Alex asked at the look Maggie was giving her.

“You’re-“ Maggie stopped herself before she told Alex just how damn cute she thought she was. Instead, she just shook her head with a laugh and Alex blushed at the look.

“Is my Spanish really that bad?” she deflected and Maggie laughed even more.

At the end of the night, Maggie dropped Alex off home, lingering in the car.

“Thank you for coming with me, I had a lot of fun,” Maggie said softly.

Alex smiled, happy that Maggie had been able to enjoy her gift. “So did I,” she replied softly.

And it didn’t escape either of them how much tonight had felt like a date but neither of them mentioned it, they didn’t want to disrupt how lovely the night had been and how much they had enjoyed the night together.

So they pushed down the feeling of wanting more and tried to be grateful for what they had. And they were. They had had so much fun together.

Alex thought that if they had this for the rest of their lives then maybe it would be enough. As long as she didn’t lose Maggie.

 

 

A few weeks later, just before Spring break, they were studying together in Alex’s room. They had been working for hours and Maggie was beginning to lose focus.

She looked up at Alex who was leaning over her textbook, a crinkle between her brows, deep in concentration and Maggie smiled to herself. She knew that Alex hadn’t paused for a minute, Alex worked way too hard.

Alex felt Maggie’s gaze on her and looked up and her crinkle softened into a smile when she saw Maggie’s soft look.

“What?” Alex asked self-consciously.

Maggie broke herself out of her daze, a little embarrassed at having been caught staring at Alex.

“Let’s take a break,” she said brightly, sitting up straight.

Alex looked hesitant and Maggie insisted.

“Come on, we’ve been studying for hours and we both need some fresh air.”

Alex laughed softly but agreed with a smile, closing her book. “What do you wanna do?”

“Wanna go on a drive?” Maggie asked and Alex laughed because that wasn’t just a small break, she knew that would take up the rest of their evening. But Alex did need a break and they hadn’t been on a drive in a while.

“Alright,” she grinned. She loved going on these long drives with Maggie. Music playing loud, the warm spring air on their skin and just driving for miles. Sometimes to one of the city’s high points where they got a beautiful view of the city and sometimes, like today, to the beach, where they would sit on the sand or the hood of Maggie’s car, looking out at the beautiful view of the water.

They sat quietly together, just enjoying the soothing atmosphere. Alex looked to Maggie who had her eyes closed, head tilted upwards towards the sky, just taking it all in. And Alex’s heart skipped at just how beautiful Maggie looked.

In these quiet moments where they were just together, soft and content, Alex couldn’t help but think about what it would be like to reach out and take Maggie’s hand in hers. To sift her fingers through her hair, to be able to kiss her, to whisper her love into her lips. And she couldn’t ignore how she felt. Not when her heart ached the way it did.

Not when it was an ache that felt better than any other feeling. So she just let that feeling sit inside of her.

 

On days like this, when they had spent the whole day together, Alex would lay awake at night imagining what it would be like to actually be with Maggie. The thought of getting to show Maggie her love in all the ways she felt it, made her heart ache. Because the possibility of it was so tangible. Alex felt like she could almost taste it. And the idea of them together made Alex happy like nothing else. And in these moments alone, in the comfort of her thoughts, Alex let herself imagine it. And she fell asleep with the familiar dull ache and longing in her heart.

 

 

 

Spring Break came around, and the whole gang decided to go to the beach together. It was the perfect weather for surfing and everyone was free and excited about going together.

“I didn’t know you could surf,” Maggie said to Alex. “That’s pretty cool.”

Alex smiled at her. “Yeah, my dad taught me. You ever tried it?”

“In Blue Springs?” Maggie laughed. “Unfortunately, not.”

“I could teach you if you liked,” Alex offered with a sweet smile and Maggie agreed with a smile.

Maggie took Kara and Alex with her in her car and Lucy, James and Winn went in James’ car.

And when they got to the beach, Maggie stripped down to her bathing suit and Alex’s brain almost short circuited because she had never seen Maggie’s body before and it was absolutely gorgeous, smooth brown skin and abs and Alex had to look away before anyone noticed her staring.

Alex’s own suit that didn’t show as much of her body but Maggie couldn’t control how her body reacted to Alex in it, standing with her surfboard. She looked really good and Maggie had to avoid staring at her.

They all swam together for a while, just enjoying the warmth and the water and laughing together. Alex rode some of the waves on her own for a while, she knew that Maggie was watching her so she tried to impress her a little bit.

And Maggie just watched her in awe, trying really hard not to think about Alex in the way she was. But lately it was getting harder and harder.

“You’re really good,” Maggie said to Alex as she came back over to her. And Alex just shrugged it off, acting modest, but she loved that Maggie was impressed.

“You wanna try?”

And Maggie nodded with a smile and it was as close to excited that Alex had ever seen her and she found it so adorable.

So Alex attempted to teach Maggie how to surf and it was tentative and shy, there was a little tension between them because they were both feeling a little flustered around each other but they hoped that it wasn’t obvious. They tried to ignore, they had become used to it but today it was a little harder to ignore than normal. Especially because Maggie’s balance on the board wasn’t very good and Alex had to keep grabbing her and holding her so she didn’t fall.

But they were still having fun, laughing through it. And when a particularly large wave hit them, Maggie fell into the water and Alex was laughing at her. Maggie stood up and was laughing too but Alex’s face fell when she saw blood coming from Maggie’s eyebrow.

“Shit, Maggie, you’re bleeding.”

“What?” Maggie said, reaching up her hand to her face and seeing blood on her fingers. She had hit herself on the board but she didn’t think it was that hard.

Alex rushed over to her and guided her out of the water by her arm back to their towel to sit her down. And even though Maggie was feeling fine to walk by herself, she allowed Alex to do it.

“Hold on, I have a first aid kit,” Alex said to Maggie, grabbing her bag to look for it. She always kept a kit in her bag, especially when she went surfing.

She came back over to Maggie, expression filled with concern as she looked at Maggie’s injury. “Are you feeling okay, do you think you have a concussion?”

Maggie laughed a little at Alex’s expression, overwhelmed by the intensity of her concern.

“I’m fine Alex, honest, it’s just a little cut,” she said with a laugh and Alex forced herself to calm down, she knew she was overreacting a little bit. She took a closer look and saw that it was just a little cut on the side of Maggie’s brow.

The others came over to them, seeing that something was wrong.

“What happened?” Kara asked and Maggie rolled her eyes playfully at herself.

“I fell off the board and cut myself,” she said and at the light tone of her voice, they all calmed down.

Lucy looked to Alex to see her looking through the first aid box and putting some rubber gloves on and she smiled, turning back to Maggie.

“Well you’re in good hands with Dr Danvers here,” she said playfully and they all laughed but Alex just gave her a warning look which made Lucy laugh even more.

They all went back to what they were doing when they realised that Maggie was okay. And there was a little bit of tension between Alex and Maggie when they were left on their own because they were sitting so close to each other. They were facing each other directly, eye-to-eye and they were both in their swimsuits and there was so much bare skin and Maggie was so beautiful that Alex had to force herself to stay concentrated on the task at hand.

Alex got the wipe ready to clean the blood and brought it up to Maggie’s face, feeling suddenly shy now that they were alone again. She gently pushed Maggie’s hair behind her ear, out of the way and Maggie felt tingles at the gentleness of the touch. It was so oddly intimate.

Maggie looked at Alex’s concentrated expression and, standing this close to her, with the sun shining down on her face, Maggie noticed the cute little freckles on her face for the first time and her heart fluttered. Alex’s hair was wet and water droplets were falling down her neck and she looked so good that Maggie couldn’t control how it made her heart beat.

She looked up into Alex’s pretty doe eyes and she was feeling too much so she lowered her gaze. And her eyes landed on Alex’s lips and that didn’t help at all. There was nowhere safe to look so Maggie ended up closing her eyes so that she didn’t have to look at Alex the entire time.

Seconds went by and the silence started to feel a little bit heavy and Maggie let out a little chuckle to break the awkwardness. “You sure you know what you’re doing?” She opened one eye and saw Alex’s concentrated expression soften and her mouth screw up cutely at the teasing, hiding her smile and Maggie found it impossibly attractive.

Alex’s voice was soft when she spoke. “The bleeding has stopped so it doesn’t look like you will need stitches. But no more surfing.”

Maggie chuckled at Alex’s tone, she was fine with just sitting there, watching the rest of them.

Alex finished off cleaning the wound and put a bandage on it and Maggie thanked her.

Alex stepped back, checking her handiwork and let out a little laugh.

And Maggie laughed too, bringing her hand to the bandage over her brow. “What? Do I look ridiculous?”

_Adorable_ Alex thought. She just laughed out a no but Maggie didn’t believe her.

“I’ll just have to keep these on,” Maggie said, picking up her sunglasses from the towel and putting them on and Alex laughed. She didn’t mind at all because Maggie looked especially good in them.

 

Alex went back into the water with the others and Maggie just watched them from where she was sitting. Well, she mostly watched Alex. She couldn’t _not_ look at her. She was just so gorgeous and impressive.

And by the end, they were all tired in the best way.

“I had a lot of fun,” Maggie said to Alex as they were packing everything away.

Alex laughed teasingly. “You hit your face and had to just watch us most of the time.” Alex laughed and Maggie just shrugged.

“I still had a good time though…you patched me up pretty good and it was fun watching you in your element,” she said and Alex smiled at her. Alex didn’t want to let herself hope for things that she couldn’t have but she swore that sometimes in these carefree moments that she could feel it all, that she could see everything in the way that Maggie looked at her.

She tried to shake away those thoughts, turning back to look at Maggie’s bandage. “You’ll have to change the bandage,” she told Maggie seriously and Maggie chuckled.

“I think I can handle that doc,” she teased and Alex fought her blush at how much she liked Maggie calling her that.

 

When they got home, Kara confronted Alex about how her and Maggie had been at the beach.

“So you and Maggie were particularly friendly today,” she started casually. Everyone had noticed their obvious chemistry and flirting.

Alex was still on a high from the day and she just let out a laugh at the implication.

“What do you mean?”

Kara just gave her a look. “You know what I mean Alex.”

“We’re just friends, you know that.”

“Yeah, but it’s more than that. It’s obvious you still like her,” Kara said and Alex sighed. She didn’t know why Kara was bringing this up when she already knew how things were. She didn’t know what to say to Kara, because she knew there was no use in denying it.

“She likes you too you know,” Kara continued softly and Alex didn’t let those words settle for fear of getting her hopes up just to get hurt again. And Kara saw it in Alex’s eyes, but she really believed that Maggie liked Alex too. There was no denying it. And it was frustrating watching them move around each other so awkwardly when their feelings were so obvious.  “I mean, she was literally staring at you the whole time,” Kara said and Alex just shook her head.

“It doesn’t matter even if she does, she told me how she feels, you know that.”

“That was months ago,” Kara insisted. “Maybe things have changed!” Kara didn’t know exactly what things were like for Maggie but she knew that she liked Alex. And she knew that they would be so good together. And she wanted them to be together.

But Alex was too scared to let herself hope. And hearing Kara say these things to her, to voice things that Alex was trying hard not to let herself have false hope over, was terrifying.

She didn’t know if she had the courage to ask Maggie again.

 

 

It was coming towards the end of the year and prom was coming up. Everyone at school assumed that Alex and Maggie were together so nobody had asked them and they were fine with that. Maggie didn’t even want to go to prom and Alex was happy not to have anyone ask her.

She didn’t want to go with anyone except Maggie, even if it was just as friends. Alex’s heart was intent on staying faithful to Maggie however foolish that was. 

Lucy and James were obviously going together but Alex, Maggie, and Winn didn’t have dates but Lucy convinced them all to go together as friends and they all ended up agreeing.

 

Maggie told her aunt that she was going to the prom with her friends and her aunt offered to buy her outfit for her. Maggie refused but her aunt insisted.

“You never let me do anything for you,” Maria said softly and Maggie wanted to say that she had already done so much for her but she let her aunt do it for her, pushing down her pride, knowing that it would make her aunt happy.

Maria helped Maggie to pick out her dress, a simple, nice comfortable one that Maggie liked. And on the day of prom, Maggie’s aunt helped her to get dressed, curling her hair and doing her make-up lightly. She looked so proud of Maggie and it made Maggie emotional.

Maggie went to pick up Alex from her house. She was nervous about Alex seeing her for some reason. She smoothed down her dress and knocked on the door and it was Alex that opened the door and they were both struck silent for a moment as they looked at each other.

Maggie recovered first, blinking out of it with a smile. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Alex replied, shy.

Maggie looked down at Alex’s dress. It was a deep blue dress that hugged her figure beautifully. “You look nice,” she said, a little shy. And it didn’t escape either of them how much this felt a little too close like they were going to the prom together.

Alex let out a shy laugh, flustered by the comment. “Thank you,” she said, looking down at herself and then back at Maggie, awkward. “So do you.” Her mind was just screaming the word beautiful. Maggie’s hair was half up and her make-up was subtle and she just looked gorgeous but Alex knew that if she told her that it would just make things awkward.

“Thanks.”

 They both laughed shyly and then Maggie quickly changed the subject. “Er- are you ready to go or…”

Eliza came up from behind Alex.

“Maggie sweetheart, you look so beautiful,” she beamed and Maggie blushed out a thank you.

“I have to get some pictures of you girls before you go,” Eliza insisted and blushing and reluctant, they got some pictures taken- Kara beaming at them from behind.

“Sorry about my mom,” Alex said to Maggie when they finally left and Maggie just smiled, brushing it off.

They picked up Winn and all went together.

At prom, they were all having fun just hanging out together. They danced together to the more upbeat songs but when the songs for the slow dances started, Alex and Maggie went back to their seats. Winn ended up dancing with some girl he met there so it just left Alex and Maggie together on their own at their table.

They watched as everyone slow danced together with their partners and Alex could tell that Maggie looked a little down. She knew that Maggie hadn’t really wanted to come in the first place. And now having to watch everyone dancing together while they just sat at the table wasn’t making things any better.

Alex imagined dancing with Maggie like that and she tried to ignore the dull thudding in her heart. She wished she could just ask Maggie to dance with her and everything else could just not matter. But she couldn’t. And she hated the sadness that had settled over them.

“Hey,” she said to Maggie and Maggie looked at her. “You wanna get out of here?”

And Maggie had obviously not been expecting that and she smiled the brightest that Alex had seen her smile all day.

“Where?”

Alex shrugged. “Anywhere.” And Maggie nodded with a smile.

They told the others that they were going before they left.

They ended up driving to the beach like usual. It was late evening now and the air was a little cooler. They got out of the car and Maggie put her denim jacket on that she had left in the car. Alex smiled to herself at the sight of Maggie in her jacket over her dress, she looked so cute.

They walked together for a little bit, mostly quiet, just enjoying the view and each other’s company. The wind was blowing a cool gentle breeze and Maggie saw Alex rubbing her arms for warmth. Her dress was sleeveless, so she must have been feeling the cold. And without even thinking, Maggie started to take off her jacket.

“Here, take this,” she said and Alex immediately declined, shy. “No, then you’ll get cold.”

Maggie chuckled and despite how cliché she realised the whole moment, she couldn’t help but offer it. “Don’t worry, I’m used to the cold.”

She handed Alex the jacket who took it with a shy smile. She put it on and it was a little snug but it fit and was wonderfully warm. And Alex snuggled into it a little and it smelled like Maggie and it took all of Alex not to bury her nose in it and breath in the smell. It was like having Maggie constantly hugging her. And Maggie tried to play down the flutter she felt at seeing Alex in her jacket.

They walked together some more, enjoying the view of the full moon and stars and they eventually sat down on the sand after a while.

Alex looked to Maggie who was quiet, her brows furrowed, contemplative as she looked up at the sky.

“What are you thinking about?” Alex asked softly.

Maggie looked at Alex and her smile was a little sad before looking back up. “I’m gonna miss it here,” she said quietly.

And Alex’s heart dipped at the reminder of how unsure things were at the moment. Maggie still hadn’t decided which college she was going to. The year was almost over, and things between were so uncertain and they were both feeling it heavily in their hearts.

Alex wanted to tell Maggie to stay but she didn’t feel like she had the right. She didn’t know what Maggie wanted.

Maggie looked back up at the sky and then back at Alex and Alex could tell that Maggie had something else to say.

“I- I wanted to thank you,” Maggie finally said and Alex’s eyebrows furrowed.

“For what?”

“For-“ Maggie paused, not used to talking about her feelings like this but wanting Alex to know. Something about tonight was making her want to open up. “For helping me get through things,” she said simply, but she knew that Alex understood the depth of what she meant.

Alex felt a painful lump in her throat. It felt like Maggie was talking like this was goodbye. And she didn’t want Maggie to talk like this. “You don’t have to thank me,” she said. “I wanted to. I want to keep doing that- always. Just like you’ve helped me.”

And Maggie smiled at her softly.

 

After sitting for a little while longer at the beach, Maggie eventually drove Alex back home, walking her to the door and Alex turned to her with a smile.

“You wanna come in for a bit?” she asked softly. She knew that they had just spent hours together but she didn’t want to part yet.

Maggie looked down at her watch. It wasn’t too late and her aunt wasn’t expecting her back yet so she agreed.

Eliza and Kara were both asleep and Maggie sat down on the couch as Alex got them both a bottle of water from the fridge, before coming to sit down beside Maggie. They were both feeling a little tired but also a pleasant buzz from the night. Alex turned to Maggie who had a similar expression as hers.

“I had a lot of fun tonight,” Alex said softly and Maggie turned to look at her and smiled.

“Yeah, me too,” she said.

As they sat there quietly, Alex’s expression fell as she remembered that this could be one of the last times they got to be like this. In a few months time, Maggie could be in a faraway college, with the intention of settling in New York, and their friendship would inevitably suffer. And suddenly, Alex got the sudden feeling that Maggie was already on the other side of the country instead of here, sitting right beside her, and her hand instinctively reached out to Maggie, dropping just short of her arm on the couch between them.

Maggie turned her head to Alex again with a soft smile and Alex knew that she was going to miss that smile and those eyes more than she could bear. She could feel it settling heavy on her heart already. She forced that feeling down for now, wanting to enjoy this moment. Alex smiled back and Maggie’s expression softened too as if she knew what Alex had been thinking.

“You know,” Alex said, breaking them out of the moment. “Even if we didn’t get the whole token prom experience, I think ours was way better.”

Maggie chuckled softly at the words. “I agree,” she said cutely with a small smile and all Alex wanted to do was make her smile more.

She knew that Maggie had felt it when everybody had been slow dancing and so had she. She wanted Maggie to experience all those things. She wanted to make her smile.

And maybe it was because of the strange mood that had surrounded them the whole evening, or that fact that she was still feeling punch drunk and brave, but Alex allowed herself to let go of her inhibitions just for a moment. 

She took her phone out and found the song that was playing earlier during the slow dance and played it. She put the phone on the coffee table, playing low, and Maggie just looked at her quizzically, amused and Alex stood up with a smile.

She nervously pushed her own hair behind her ear and then wordlessly held her hand out to Maggie with a smile, holding her breath. And Maggie laughed and then just looked at her for a moment with something in her eyes Alex couldn’t quite make out, before taking her hand softly.

Maggie tentatively stepped closer into Alex. Alex’s hands were holding Maggie innocently at her shoulders and Maggie’s hands came down to Alex’s waist. It was intimate and close and they looked up at each other and let out a small, shy laugh.

Maggie didn’t know what they were doing but she hadn’t been able to refuse Alex’s small, hopeful smile. She wanted to let them have this one thing.

“I’ve never slow danced with anymore before,” Maggie said with a small chuckle, trying to keep the moment light and Alex smiled down at her, shy.

“Me either.” 

And they were slow dancing together in the middle of Alex’s living room, with the lyrics of the song playing gently in the background, and they were both acutely aware of them and they were making them feel even more shy.

Maggie lowered her head, breaking the gaze, shy, looking down between them instead at the almost imperceptible gap between their bodies.

Maggie could feel the heat of Alex’s body hitting her. And she tried to ignore how much it affected her.

Alex didn’t say a word for fear of breaking them out of this moment they were in.

A particularly sappy lyric played and they both laughed to hide their blush. Alex took Maggie’s hand in hers and twirled her around, laughing brightly as Maggie’s eyes crinkled closed with her laugh.

She pulled Maggie back into her, and it was strong enough that Maggie fell into her, hand over her chest, and their laughter softened as soon as their eyes met. And the air between them suddenly changed. And if Maggie couldn’t see the obviousness from Alex’s face, she could definitely feel it against her palm where Alex’s heart was thudding hard against it.

“Sorry,” Maggie breathed out, pushing back a little but Alex shook her head and held Maggie gently against her and Maggie’s heart started beating hard in her chest. And she couldn’t move away from the way that Alex was looking at her.

Alex’s eyes searched Maggie’s, full of everything that she could not say. The entire moment had shifted into something else.

Alex knew that Maggie could feel her heart and see all her want in her gaze and in that moment Alex didn’t try to hide it, she let it all show to Maggie.

Maggie’s cheeks were flushed pink and Alex’s leaned forward slightly and watched as Maggie’s eyes fluttered and her lips parted to let out a shaky exhale, and Alex’s eyes lowered to Maggie’s parted lips and she had never longed for anything more than to feel them against hers.

Accepting every consequence, she gave in to her need and finally kissed her.

Alex felt her knees go weak at the soft sound of surprise from Maggie. And they both felt tingles down their entire body as soon as their lips touched. And it was as if the world had stopped spinning and the only thing that existed was them in this moment.

And the kiss was so tentative, just the gentlest touch of their lips against each other, and Alex pulled back for the slightest second, and they were both still, just breathing against each other’s lips, and Alex’s eyes slowly opened to find Maggie’s still closed and Alex let out a heavy breath and cupped Maggie’s face in both her hands and pulled her into her again, stronger.

And this time Maggie kissed her back, and kissed her back so perfectly, bringing her hand to grip the back of Alex’s dress, pulling her closer and Alex’s heart soared.

Alex tilted Maggie’s head to deepen the kiss, and goosebumps shot all down Alex’s body and she could feel her heart pounding fiercely in her chest. And if Alex had any doubt as to whether Maggie wanted her back, then it was all gone now.

The kiss was so soft and full of all the feelings that they hadn’t said. Maggie’s grip on Alex’s dress tightened as they kissed and Alex’s hands moved down to Maggie’s neck and soft hair.

Alex didn’t want the kiss to ever end but kissing Maggie made her breathless so quickly. She pulled back and just sighed against Maggie’s lips, eyes still closed. She held Maggie for a sweet moment, savouring this closeness, she didn’t know what would come next but she knew she couldn’t hide anymore.

She opened her eyes to find Maggie looking back at her this time, so soft and vulnerable- those warm eyes waiting for a response. And Alex couldn’t get over how beautiful Maggie was. Everything was tingling- her lips, her fingers, every part of her skin that Maggie was still lightly touching.

“I-” Alex started, stuttering in her words, trying to find the right thing to say. This is not what she had expected or planned. But she wasn’t going to let this go.  “I have… never stopped wanting to do that,” Alex breathed.

 “Alex…” is all Maggie could breath out.

“No, Maggie, please,” Alex begged. She wasn’t going to run away this time, she was going to lay it all out on the line. Because she knew Maggie, knew her so much better now. And loved her so much more.

And Maggie stayed silent, looking up at her vulnerably, and Alex took that as permission.

And Alex looked down, trying to find the words, making sure she said the right thing, before looking back up into Maggie’s eyes.

“All this time I have tried so hard to get over my feelings for you but… I couldn’t,” she breathed out an exhale at the confession. “This past year has been…the best of my life and-- that’s because of you. My feelings have just kept getting stronger the more I have gotten to know you and… at some point I just became resigned to the fact that I would always want more and that you never would but-” she gulped, willing herself to be brave. “Whenever I’m with you I feel something and--you-“ she looked away before looking back at Maggie. “… it can’t just be me. And tonight- with…the kiss…” Maggie swallowed at the mention of it and Alex took a shaky breath in, bracing herself for what she was going to say. “You kissed me back.” Alex watched Maggie’s eyebrows scrunch together but Alex couldn’t stop. “You kissed me back and I felt it and it was… _amazing_.” She exhaled shakily, looking into Maggie’s eyes. “Please tell me you felt it too.”            

Maggie’s mind was racing with so many things. Everything was happening so fast and Maggie didn’t know how to protect them both from what could happen from this. She didn’t want to ruin what they had. “You’re my best friend,” she breathed out. She was too scared to answer Alex’s question directly.

Alex stepped in closer to her, taking Maggie’s hands in hers. “But it’s more than that,” she implored. She wasn’t going to let Maggie’s fear win without a fight. “You know it is.” At the look in Maggie’s eyes, Alex felt bolder. “Friends don’t kiss like that…” She saw Maggie gulp and she lowered her voice, unbelievably soft and all her emotions bare. “And they don’t look at each other the way that you’re looking at me right now.”

And Maggie pinched her eyes closed at the words but Alex just took her face into her hands, tilting her head up to get her to look at her again. “Tell me you don’t feel the same and I’ll never mention it again.” But Alex knew that she did. She _knew_ it. “But- if it’s because you’re scared, _please_ don’t be… I would never hurt you.” She saw the fear in Maggie’s eyes and she knew she had to say, knew Maggie had to hear it. She gulped, looking into Maggie’s eyes, bare and choked up. “ _I love you_.”

Maggie felt it like a physical shock and she exhaled heavily, eyebrows scrunching together, overcome, instinctively pulling away. “Alex…”

But Alex held her close. “I do, Maggie, God, I’m so in love with you and I have been for so long, and that’s…never going to change.” Her words were strong and sure and they went straight to Maggie’s heart. She couldn’t believe what Alex was saying- and how much she wanted to believe it.

Maggie stepped back, needing to clear her space of how much Alex was overwhelming her. “Alex- you don’t know that-“

“ _Yes I do_. I know my feelings, that’s the one thing I’m sure of.”

Alex saw the fear in Maggie’s eyes. And she understood why Maggie was fighting this so hard. But she wanted Maggie to realise what this actually was, that it was worth taking the risk for. Alex felt like the possibility of them was so close and she was having to fight to grasp it in her hands.

Maggie looked back up at Alex, scared. “This isn’t a good idea.” she finally said, and the uncertainty in her voice made Alex’s heart start beating faster.

“Why isn’t it?” Alex challenged, strong, as if she couldn’t think of a single reason why it wasn’t.

And Maggie realised that they were both thinking so differently right now. And she envied Alex’s ability to be able to let herself fall into her feelings. But it wasn’t so easy for Maggie.

And it was such a simple question that Maggie faltered. She let out a breath, shaking her head, looking up to the ceiling as if she didn’t know where to begin. “Because—we’re so young, because we’re going to start college soon and be so far away, because things are going to change and we’re going to meet new people and-“

Alex broke her off. “I know things are going to change but none of that stuff means this isn’t a good idea.”

Maggie still looked conflicted and Alex continued, softer, earnest. “Maggie…I know things seem so scary and uncertain right now but… I don’t want to meet anybody else, I just want you.”

And Maggie felt her eyes well up at the words. Alex sounded so sure. She sounded like she wanted that more than anything and if that was true, then Maggie couldn’t control how her heart was telling her to take the risk. She couldn’t help but hope for things she had always tried to shut down.

Alex looked at Maggie, scared and gulped down the pain of her next words. “But- if that’s something you want- if you want to meet someone else… then I’ll understand.”

Alex could tell from the look in Maggie’s eyes that she didn’t want that, but that she was too scared to say it, to say what she did want.

“I just want you to be happy, even if I can’t be the one to do it.”

“You do make me happy….” Maggie’s responded straight away. She didn’t want Alex to even doubt that for a second. And the force with which she said it left no room for doubt as to her feelings.

Maggie felt out of reasons to counter Alex, and she was fed up of trying to. Fed up of fighting all her feelings. And it was impossible when Alex was standing in front of her, saying all of these things that Maggie longed to hear.

Maggie’s eyes welled up with tears and Alex moved closer into her. This could be the only moment where Alex got to comfort Maggie the way she had always wanted to. She dipped her head to press a kiss over Maggie’s eyes and Maggie let out a shaky exhale, gripping Alex’s arms hard.

“Then let me,” Alex breathed, aching, “ _Please_.”

And Maggie shuddered out a breath.

They were interrupted by someone coming down the stairs and they quickly pulled apart, stepping back from each other.

“Oh girls, I thought I heard something,” Eliza said, smiling at Alex and Maggie. “I just came down to get some water.”

Alex and Maggie smiled at Eliza, trying to act normal, as if the whole course of their relationship wasn’t in the balance right now.

“How was prom? Did you girls have fun?”

“Yeah, it was…amazing,” Alex said, and her eyes strayed to Maggie’s for just a second and Maggie just looked lost in a daze.

Eliza smiled. “Maggie, are you going to stay tonight honey?” And that snapped Maggie out of her thoughts.

“Hmm?” she asked. ”Oh-no, I can’t tonight, I told my aunt I’d be back.” It wasn’t a lie but she knew her aunt wouldn’t mind if she ended up staying. She felt Alex look at her from the side.

Eliza went back upstairs and Alex turned back to Maggie and they just stood there for a moment, not knowing what to say.

Maggie sighed, knowing that they both needed time to think. “Alex…,” she said softly. “I just need some time to think about everything that’s just happened.”

Alex could see that Maggie was telling the truth, that she wasn’t just brushing her off.

Alex nodded and Maggie could see that she was trying so hard to hold back for her and Maggie softened.

“I heard everything that you said, I promise. I just think we both need some time to think about it.” She looked up at Alex softly. “Can we talk tomorrow?”

And Alex nodded, releasing a breath she was holding in. Maggie was serious. She wanted to talk about this. And tomorrow couldn’t come sooner for Alex.

She walked Maggie to the door and they stood there for an awkward second before Alex took her into a hug. And it lingered once Maggie softened into it, and they just held each other and Alex didn’t want to let go. She buried her head in Maggie’s hair, breathing her in and Maggie’s heart beat faster at that.

They eventually pulled back and Alex watched as Maggie walked to her car, how she smiled shyly at her before driving away and Alex closed the door behind her, leaning against it with an airy sigh.

 

That night, both of them found it difficult to sleep.

Alex went up to her bedroom to find Kara already asleep. She got ready for bed in a sort of daze. Once in bed, she lay there just thinking about Maggie. She couldn’t believe how the night had turned out. She hadn’t planned it, she hadn’t even thought about kissing Maggie for real until that moment. Her heart zoomed as she thought back to it. And the thought of seeing Maggie tomorrow wouldn’t let her rest.

And Maggie was in the same state in her own bed- heart beating wild and mind restless. She just lay there awake, thinking. After everything Alex had said, Maggie allowed herself to really think about what it would mean to actually be with Alex. And it made her heart ache how much she wanted it.

Alex made her happy. She knew that much. Alex had made her happy in a way that no one else had been able to. She understood her even when Maggie didn’t open herself up. And Maggie understood Alex. They fit together. Alex made her feel strong and worthy and loved, and she wanted to make Alex feel all those things too. She wanted to be the one who made Alex feel all those things.

And Maggie knew how deep her feelings for Alex were, but she had never let herself think about them. Because she knew that they could crush her.

The thought of losing Alex once she had her was so terrifying, she didn’t know if she was strong enough to be able to handle that. And she realised that she had come to depend on Alex so much- without meaning to.

She had purposely tried to keep Alex at a distance, but Alex had somehow seeped into her life, she had somehow nestled her way into her heart and settled there, and now Maggie couldn’t imagine a future without her.

And just the idea of giving them a chance seemed too good to be true that Maggie was terrified of even considering it. But she closed her eyes and she pictured Alex’s face and her beautiful eyes, and the way that she had told her she loved her and Maggie exhaled shakily. Her heart skipped a beat thinking about how Alex had said it, quiet and earnest, leaving no room for Maggie to doubt it.

And that kiss. Maggie felt her heart flutter as she thought about how Alex had kissed her, how soft her lips had felt against hers. The kiss had been so full of love- the way Alex had held her face in her hands and kissed her. It terrified Maggie how it made her heart beat but she also wanted to jump into it and risk everything for it.

She turned to her side and her eyes caught the blossoming bonsai tree on her desk, the one that Alex had been helping her maintain, and her heart skipped again at the reminder of how perfect Alex was and she felt something begin to unfurl and blossom in her chest too.

And she fell asleep like that, with a blossoming heart, to thoughts of Alex.

 

 

The next morning, Alex was woken up by Kara bouncing on her bed, asking how prom had been.

Alex hadn’t had much sleep, so she took a moment to gather her thoughts straight and as soon as she remembered what had happened last night, all her slumber left her and she covered her face with the cover and just squealed into it and Kara excitedly removed the cover from her face, surprised to see Alex acting this way.

“What happened?”

Alex looked up at her, and she had the covers tucked under her chin cutely and she couldn’t control her smile when she said it.

“Maggie and I kissed.”

Kara’s jaw dropped in shock. “Oh my God, no way!”

Alex nodded with a giddy grin at Kara’s excitement. “Well—I mean, I kissed her but-“ she smiled at Kara, shy. “She kissed me back.”

Kara squealed excitedly again, taking Alex into a big hug. “Oh my God, okay, how did it happen? You have to tell me everything.”

And Alex laughed and she told Kara everything that had happened. Kara listened, engrossed.

“Okay,” Kara said with a huge smile when Alex had finished telling her. She was so happy for Alex. She thought that her and Maggie were perfect for each other. “So what are you going to do now?”

“I don’t know.” Alex was feeling so excited, she didn’t know the first thing to do.

“She said she wanted to talk today, so call her and ask to meet for lunch or something.”

And so Alex did. She texted Maggie a simple _Good morning_ with a shy smiley face. It was 9am and Maggie was usually awake at this time, but after last night Alex wasn’t sure if she would be.

After a few minutes her phone started ringing and she looked to see that it was Maggie and her heart started beating faster. She coughed, clearing her throat, taking a deep breath in before she answered the call.

“Maggie,” Alex said, breathy and nervous. “Hi.”

“Hi,” she heard Maggie say, and it was soft and quiet and Alex could hear Maggie’s nerves in it. “Good morning,” she said shyly, in reply to Alex’s text, with a soft nervous chuckle and Alex’s heart fluttered at the sound of it.

Talking to each other after everything that had happened last night was making them both nervous.

“H-how are you?” Alex asked.

“I’m good,” Maggie said softly. There was a little pause before Maggie remembered where she was. “Er- I’m actually at work right now, they asked me to come in.”

“Oh,” Alex said a little disappointed. She could hear the sounds of the people in the background. “I was going to ask if you- if you wanted to meet up today for lunch or anything?”

“Yeah,” Maggie responded quickly but she paused a little. “I mean- I could meet at 11 on my break if you want to meet me here?” And Maggie asked it so softly that Alex couldn’t control the butterflies in her stomach.

“That sounds perfect.”

“Okay, I’ll see you later then.” Alex heard the shy smile in Maggie’s voice and her heart fluttered.

“See you later.”

 

Alex got to the coffee shop just before 11am and it was quite busy so Maggie was still serving customers. As soon as Maggie looked up from behind the counter, she blinked upon seeing Alex and then smiled softly, motioning to Alex that she would only be a few minutes.

Alex took a seat a little away from Maggie where she could still see her. And she watched Maggie silently work and just by looking at her eyes, she could tell that Maggie was nervous.

And Maggie was obviously aware of her staring because she pushed her hair behind her ear self-consciously and looked up to where Alex was sitting and smiled at her softly. And Alex’s heart fluttered at the look.

Maggie finished serving her last customer and made two coffees for her and Alex. She took off her apron and told her boss she was going on her break, before walking up to Alex with their coffees and a box of donuts.

Maggie smiled at her softly, stopping just short of her and she was wearing the maroon polo top and cap that Alex found so cute and she was looking at Alex shyly and Alex felt butterflies in her stomach.

“I got us coffee and muffins,” Maggie said softly and Alex couldn’t control her smile at Maggie’s nervousness.

“Thank you,” she said softly.

“Er,” Maggie started, looking up out of the window. “Did you want to eat in here or go for a walk…”

“I don’t mind,” Alex said. She didn’t mind where they were as long as they were together. But she had a feeling that Maggie would prefer to get outside of the coffee shop. “We can walk.”

The park wasn’t far, so they walked together quietly. And it was shy and nervous. It was a beautiful morning and there were a lot of kids out with their parents, playing and running about.

Once they reached the bench in the park, they both sat down. Neither knew how to start the conversation and they both let out a shy laugh at their awkwardness.

But it was Alex who managed to find her words first. She put her coffee down and gently took Maggie’s hand in her and Maggie felt tingles at the gentleness of the touch.

Alex gulped down her nerves before she spoke. “All morning I’ve been asking myself whether last night was real or just a dream.”

Maggie’s heart fluttered at Alex’s words because she felt the same way. Last night had felt like some sort of dream, something she felt that she had just imagined. But the reality of it was sitting right in front of her, more perfect than she could believe. Having Alex look at her like she was, so shy and hopeful, made it all feel so real.

She looked down a little, hiding her smile. She looked to Alex’s hand that was softly holding her own as if their hands belonged together. And she was feeling so much from the simple act of Alex holding her hand. She looked back up at Alex, shy. “I’ve…been wondering the same thing myself,” she said quietly and Alex’s heart beat hard at the confession.

“Yeah?”

And Maggie just looked at her, into Alex’s simmering expression and all she wanted was to see her smile. She wanted to finally tell her the truth. To be as brave as Alex was.

“I like you Alex…” she breathed out, and it was the first time she had ever said it out loud and Alex’s heart was beating so hard in its chest. “I like you a lot…” And it wasn’t a love confession like Alex’s had been but Alex still felt the depth of the words. She knew how much they meant, how much it took for Maggie to admit that.

“So are you- does that mean-“ Alex stopped, changing her sentence. “Do you want to try this?” She looked into Maggie’s eyes. “Us?” she asked, her voice gentle, hopeful.

And Maggie’s heart fluttered at even the possibility of an ‘us’ with Alex. She wanted it so much, wanted it more than anything. And she wanted to believe that they could make it work but she was still scared.

She gulped down her fears. “You’re so important to me, it’s just—this is so scary for me. The thought of us is just…so much that it terrifies me.” She let out a shy laugh at the end at expressing her feelings.

Alex blinked at the admission, heart fluttering wildly in her chest, but she recovered quickly. She held Maggie’s hand tighter in hers and leaned her head closer to her, softly serious. “You don’t have to be scared of this.”

Maggie looked at her, vulnerable. “I know- I just-,” she breathed in shakily. “I’m still figuring things out and I don’t want to rush this and ruin things.”

Alex was quiet, her heart beating rapidly as she listened to Maggie.

“Can we take things slow?” Maggie asked her, so soft and vulnerable that Alex’s heart skipped a beat.

Alex nodded, caressing Maggie’s hand with her thumb. She wouldn’t let them mess this up. And as long as they were together, Alex would go as slow as Maggie needed.

Maggie breathed out a shaky smile after saying everything she had needed to and Alex let herself smile too.

And Maggie just looked at Alex, taking her in again. Alex was wearing her jacket from yesterday, Maggie had noticed it as soon as Alex had come into the coffee shop and Maggie hadn’t been able to control the butterflies in her stomach at seeing Alex in it. Alex was so cute.

“You’re wearing my jacket,” Maggie finally said softly and Alex looked down at herself.

“Oh yeah,” Alex said shyly. “I brought it to give it back to you,” she said as she moved to take it off but Maggie just chuckled with a shake of her head, bringing her hand to Alex’s arm.

“Keep it on,” she said softly and Alex blushed.

“But it’s yours.”

Maggie shook her head softly with a smile, she liked the idea of Alex having it. “It looks better on you.” And Maggie couldn’t believe how good it felt to be able to say it to Alex. To be able to compliment Alex how she had always wanted to and to see Alex’s reaction. “Keep it as a reminder of yesterday,” she said cutely.

And Alex’s heart fluttered at the words and her eyes crinkled with her smile. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget that,” she whispered and Maggie chuckled shyly over her blush.

They smiled stupidly at each other before softening.

And Alex let herself look at Maggie now that she could. She looked at Maggie with as much affection as she had always wanted to, her eyes roaming Maggie’s beautifully crinkled eyes and her dimples that were so deep with her shy smile. She couldn’t believe how beautiful Maggie was. And how Maggie was looking back at her so softly, shy, as if she couldn’t believe things either.

She looked back down at Maggie’s hands where she was holding them. “Go on a date with me,” she whispered out of nowhere, so gently, and Maggie felt butterflies and she looked up at Alex in surprise. Alex was constantly surprising her.

Alex was looking at her so nervously and Maggie’s whole body softened with affection.

She ducked her head, letting out a shy laugh. Even though she had just confirmed her feelings, Maggie was still finding it hard to find her words.

Alex just watched Maggie nervously but as she saw Maggie’s shyness, she leaned closer, her nerves turning into an adoring smile.

“Is that a yes?”

Maggie looked up at Alex with open eyes, and Alex could see that she was finally allowing herself to feel this.

Maggie nodded softly and Alex’s grin deepened.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Maggie was feeling flustered from the way that Alex was looking at her and she needed to look away to control the beating of her heart.

Maggie looked down at her watch and jumped a little at seeing that her break was already over. The time with Alex had gone by so fast. She didn’t want to go back to work. She just wanted to sit here with Alex all day.

“Alex,” she said regretfully, “I have to get back to work.”

And Alex just nodded with a smile. She didn’t want to part but she knew they had to.

They looked at each other a moment and neither moved, smiling shyly at each other and Alex hesitated only for a second before she leaned forward and kissed Maggie’s cheek, unable to resist the desire to kiss her dimples.

And Maggie blushed as Alex pulled back. It was such an innocent kiss, so simple and pure that it made her blush. And Alex laughed at Maggie’s blush. She loved being able to make Maggie smile like that.

And Maggie couldn’t get over this new energy that was between them. An energy that had always been there but they had only allowed themselves to truly feel now, and it was exhilarating. She looked up into Alex’s eyes, which were so beautiful and full of feeling and Maggie didn’t know how she had ever resisted them before. 

Alex’s smile softened and she stood up, offering Maggie her hand to help her get up. “I’ll walk you back to work?”

And Maggie smiled shyly, taking Alex’s hand.

 

And when Alex got home, she started worrying about what she should do for their date. She had gone to the movies with Alison, but she hadn’t liked it. Alex wanted to be able to talk to Maggie. And the weather was too beautiful to be stuck inside watching a movie. And the same was the case for going to a restaurant for dinner- and that would have felt too formal anyway. Alex wanted to keep it light and easy and casual, Maggie had said she wanted to take things slow and Alex didn’t want to overwhelm her.

 

Maggie came to pick Alex up for their date and she was dressed casually, in blue jeans and a button up and Alex thought she looked so beautiful.

“So where are we going?” Maggie asked, once Alex was in the car.

And Alex smiled at her, trying to act but cool but she was nervous. “I thought we could get some food and go to our spot on the beach if you wanted to.”

Maggie’s heart fluttered at the words. “Our spot?” she asked softly and Alex smiled at her, shy.

“Yeah,” she said softly. “I mean, it kinda is isn’t it?” And Maggie smiled at her adoringly and Alex felt a little flustered at the look.

“I thought we could just…talk and enjoy the weather…watch the sunset together maybe,” she said shyly, trying to sound casual and Maggie felt her heart warm at how cute Alex was. That sounded like the perfect date to Maggie- just being with Alex.

She nodded softly with a smile. “That sounds perfect.”

 

They brought food and snacks and sat together on a blanket.

They were tentative and shy together at first, but they soon fell into the ease that they had always had around each other. It was just better.

Because they didn’t have to hide. Alex didn’t have to stop herself from looking at Maggie how she wanted to. She didn’t have to stop herself or think twice about saying something wrong that could make things awkward.

And Alex loved the feeling. How everything felt the same but so different.

At a pause in their conversation, Alex looked to Maggie with a soft smile and reached out to take Maggie’s hand in hers. “We’ve done this so many times before…  I always wished that it could be like this,” she whispered softly and Maggie’s heart warmed with affection as she looked back at Alex.

“So did I,” Maggie admitted softly, and Alex still felt surprised whenever Maggie admitted to having had feelings for Alex for so long.

Alex ducked her head shyly, shaking her head with a little laugh.

“What?” Maggie smiled, confused.

“Nothing,” Alex said, looking back up at Maggie. “It’s just…I still find it hard to believe that this is real.”

And Maggie just smiled at her softly because she knew the feeling because she was feeling it too.

“When did- when did your feelings change?” Alex asked, looking at Maggie shyly at the question.

And Maggie looked at her softly for a moment as she thought about how to answer it. Maggie’s feelings had never changed, they had just grown stronger. She had always liked Alex, ever since the first time Alex had come up to her in the library that day. But Alex didn’t know that. Alex didn’t know that Maggie had liked Alex probably before Alex had even realised that she liked Maggie.

“I don’t know,” Maggie said gently, and Alex just listened quietly. “I’ve… always liked you Alex, even when you told me you liked me that first time, I was just too scared to admit it,” Maggie confessed.

Alex gulped. “I was scared to admit it too,” she whispered, and Maggie looked up at her, silently asking her to tell her more. “I mean- obviously I did tell you but it took me time to accept it. When I first realised I might have a crush on you, I tried so hard to deny it.”

 Maggie smiled softly, understanding. She knew how scary that must have been for Alex.

Alex laughed softly, thinking back to it. “I mean, now that I think about it, it was pretty obvious... I always wanted to be with you and talk to you, I loved making you smile…” Alex’s heart fluttered at Maggie’s blush. “Even then, I tried to convince myself that I was still straight,” she laughed before turning more serious. “But I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

Maggie looked down at the words, her heart fluttering in response.  She wordlessly took Alex hands in hers, playing gently with her fingers, hoping it told Alex everything she felt too shy to say.

 

As the afternoon turned into evening, they went for a little walk to get some ice cream. And as they walked, they started talking about college and their plans. Maggie had thought about it so much these past few days.

When she first came here, she thought she would have no reason to stay. She had always just planned to get through these two years and move to New York without looking back. But she had found reasons to stay. She had developed bonds here that she had never expected. And she didn’t want to lose them.

“One of the reasons I think I held on so strongly to the idea of New York was because everything else seemed beyond my control, everything was changing without my permission and I just wanted to keep holding onto something that I could rely on. But-“ Maggie, paused for a second, “….some things you just can’t control no matter how hard you try- I mean…so many things have happened that were never part of my plan.”

Alex didn’t speak for fear of stopping Maggie. Her heart was beating so fast at what Maggie was trying to say.

“My aunt and…you,” Maggie continued, looking at Alex shyly. “How much I’ve grown to love it here.” And Maggie couldn’t believe what she was saying either. But the thought of being so close to Alex and her aunt was giving Maggie a feeling of joy that the idea of New York no longer did.

But she still felt scared at the prospect of changing things so suddenly and finally. ”It doesn’t have to mean that it’s forever you know—I mean no one knows what’s in their future.” She let out a nervous chuckle and Alex smiled through the tears that had gathered in her eyes.

It's true, nobody knew that. Alex didn’t know where the future would take her but the one thing she would make sure of was that Maggie was a part of it, wherever and however it was.

They finished their ice creams and came to sit back down on the sand and Alex turned to Maggie.

“Whatever you decide, I’m still going to be here,” Alex said strongly. She didn’t want Maggie to go to New York but now that she knew the extent of Maggie’s feelings, she knew that they could do long distance if it came to it. “I mean, now that we have this,” she joined their hands together, squeezing Maggie’s in her own, with a cute, hopeful smile. “Then what’s a few years compared to the rest of our lives?”

And Maggie’s eyebrows rose slightly at the words, at the reminder that Alex was thinking so far ahead. Her heart thudded strongly at the implication and it cloaked itself in the comfort of those words and the look in Alex’s eyes.

She was feeling so much in that moment for Alex that she couldn’t stop herself from leaning forward and pressing a kiss to Alex’s lips.

And Alex hadn’t been expecting it and her heart fluttered. Maggie slowly pulled back but before she could, Alex pushed forward into it again, not wanting the kiss to end. She cupped Maggie’s face in her hands and held her gently against her. Maggie’s lips tasted like strawberry ice cream and Alex wanted more of it. She pushed her hands through Maggie’s hair and slowly turned the kiss long and slow, and it was more perfect than all the times that Alex had imagined it would be kissing Maggie like this. She sighed, breaking the kiss, and her heart fluttered at the sound of Maggie’s soft sigh once they parted.

Alex let her thumb caress Maggie’s cheek, feeling her dimples come through with her soft smile. “You’re so beautiful,” she breathed out and Maggie felt her heart flutter. Hearing those words from Alex’s lips said so softly, was something Maggie had never imagined that she would get to hear. After having tiptoed around their feelings for all this time, and now getting to say these kinds of things, Maggie couldn’t describe the feeling it gave her.

They went back to quietly watching the sunset together. There were tinges of beautiful pinks and oranges in the sky and it was as if the sunset had been made especially beautiful today just for them. They say there together, quietly watching as the pinkness faded and the light dimmed.

They didn’t want the night to end and, being in each other’s company like this, they lost track of time. They waited for the stars to come out and they ended up laying on the blanket, talking and watching the stars together until late into the night.

 

 

And the next couple of weeks went by in a strange kind of blur. They told their friends and Eliza and Maggie told Maria and they were all over the moon for them. And Alex and Maggie were happier than they had ever been.

They loved getting used to the newness of being together. They loved going on dates. They loved being able to kiss each other and show their love as they had always wanted to. But they were so busy with school and work that finding time to spend together was hard. And finding time to spend together alone was even harder.

 

It was a Friday night, a week later and Maggie’s aunt was staying at her boyfriend’s house that night. Maria had been seeing him for a couple months now and Maggie had met him a few weeks ago when he had had dinner at their apartment. He was funny and sweet and Maggie had liked him straight away, especially considering how happy he made her aunt.

Her aunt had told her that she would be back by tomorrow afternoon.

And so Maggie and Alex had the apartment to themselves.

Maggie invited Alex around and there was a nervousness about them because they had never been together for the whole night alone before.

At Alex’s house, her mom or Kara were always home, and the same was the case for Maggie’s aunt. And so Alex and Maggie didn’t get that much opportunity to spend time together alone.

They always ended up being interrupted by someone. Most of their making out occurred in the back of Maggie’s car. And something like their first time, they didn’t want to rush.

They wanted to take their time and not have to worry about getting caught.

And they were both nervous. But more excited. Because they had been dating for weeks and they were both ready. 

After eating, they started watching a movie together and that slowly turned into them making out on the couch. Their kisses tonight started out softer and more shy than they normally did. Because they both knew what was to come. 

Tonight was the first time they didn’t have to worry about where they were, or having someone walk in on them. They didn’t have to think about anything but each other and the thought had them both so excited that they couldn’t contain it.

Their kisses quickly became more heated as they gave in to their desires without the fear of having to stop.

Alex pushed Maggie back so she was above her and the way she was kissing Maggie was causing Maggie to get worked up so quickly. She wanted to slow things down. She took Alex by her cheeks and slowed the kiss down, pressing soft kisses to her lips. “We have time,” she whispered against Alex’s mouth and Alex sighed and then let out a breathy laugh- at her own eagerness and at how happy the words made her.

She forced herself to pull back a little and just looked into Maggie’s eyes, simmering with want and she let out an exhale. Maggie was so beautiful with her flushed cheeks and shining eyes.

She pushed Maggie’s hair gently behind her ear, taking a second to take in the moment and Maggie just looked back up at her, open.

Alex was trying to slow things down but she had wanted this for so long that it was hard for her to hold back- especially when Maggie looked at her like that.

And Alex’s heart fluttered when Maggie leaned in first this time, building them back up slowly, deeply, wonderfully.

And their making out on the couch soon led to them making out on Maggie’s bed. They hastily rid themselves of their clothes, with airy sighs, and nervous laughter and unending love. And it was gentle and hot and awkward and stumbling and intense and just so so perfect.

They lay there afterwards, under the cover, cuddled close together because Maggie’s single bed was so small. They were facing each other, and it was startlingly intimate. Maggie was feeling so much. They were both feeling closer to each other than they ever had before.

Alex’s gaze roamed Maggie’s features and she brought her hand up to stroke over them- her eyes and her nose and her cheeks and her lips. And Maggie just let her. In the post haze, she was feeling so unbelievably close to her.

Alex didn’t think her heart could contain how much it was feeling in that moment. She leaned even closer to Maggie and pushed Maggie’s hair behind her ear and looked into her eyes with all the tenderness that she was feeling. “I love you,” she whispered softly. She hadn’t said that to Maggie since the first time she had kissed her, when everything changed, and she saw in the softening of Maggie’s eyes how much it affected her.

Maggie’s heart skipped a beat, and she felt the words all through her and she closed her eyes, letting them wash over her. And she knew that she felt the same way. She had felt it for a long time but was too scared to say it. The words were too big and unfamiliar for her to say them. She had never said those words to anyone before- not her parents or her aunt of anyone. And she found it difficult to get the words past her lips.

And Alex saw that she was struggling with it and she gently caressed Maggie’s cheek. “You don’t have to say it back,” Alex said softly and Maggie’s heart softened with how much love she felt for Alex. At how well Alex understood her. 

Maggie let out a shy chuckle, she was getting teary-eyed and she was feeling embarrassed about it. “I’ve never said it before,” Maggie admitted quietly and Alex’s heart broke at the admission.

“It’s okay,” Alex said, bringing herself even closer into Maggie. She wanted to protect and love Maggie with everything she had.

Maggie buried her head in Alex’s neck, letting Alex hold her. She was feeling so safe, and her whole body was coursing with so much love that she couldn’t contain it. “I love you,” she whispered into Alex’s neck and Alex eyes closed and she squeezed Maggie tighter against her at the words.

Her whole body warmed with affection. She kissed Maggie’s head and rested her cheek against it, content to just stay like that with Maggie forever.

They fell asleep soon after, tangled in each other’s arms.

 

In the morning, Maggie made Alex breakfast. Alex was sitting on the counter in one of Maggie’s baggy t-shirts just watching her as she did so.

Maggie turned around to see Alex’s adoring look and she tried to fight her smile.

“What?” she asked shyly.

Alex looked at her cutely. “I didn’t know you could cook.”

“It’s just an omelette,” Maggie laughed and Alex just shrugged with a wide smile, jumping down off the counter and coming around to hug Maggie from behind.

Alex started kissing down Maggie’s sensitive neck and Maggie giggled at the sensations. She could still feel the soreness from the way Alex had kissed her last night. 

Alex laughed, turning Maggie around and distracting her with her kisses, so so in love and Maggie pushed her away, laughing.

“You’re gonna make me burn breakfast.”

And Alex relented, laughing. “Okay, okay.” She turned around, looking around the kitchen. “I’ll make you coffee for once,” Alex said cutely and she went about looking for the mugs and the coffee in the kitchen, much to Maggie’s amusement.

And while Maggie’s taste buds said otherwise, Maggie’s heart told her that it was the best coffee she’d ever tasted.

 

When Alex went home that afternoon, she lay in bed listening to her music on her phone, completely distracted by thoughts of Maggie. Because every song was reminding her of Maggie, especially this particular one that was playing right now. She smiled as she listened to it. It reminded her of the night they had gone to the concert together and Maggie had translated it for her. She had felt so much for Maggie that night.  She grinned at the thought of telling Maggie and her reaction. And so she did. She sent Maggie an audio, with the message: _This song has always made me think of you ever since the first time I heard it_

She listened as the verse started again and she smiled shyly to herself at the meaning. And she wondered how Maggie would be feeling.

A few moments later, Maggie texted Alex back:

_Me encanta verte, tenerte, abrazarte_

_Cuando estoy a un lado de ti_

_Todo lo bueno de mi_

_Florece, eres tú,_

And Alex’s heart zoomed in her chest upon reading it- at Maggie listening to the song and choosing these specific lyrics to send to her.

And they both stayed like that, listening to the same song together, thinking about each other.  

 

 

Just before summer break hit, one day Alex and Maggie were lying in Maggie’s bed together after just having woken up from a nap. They had been talking about the road trip that the gang had been planning the past couple of weeks.

It was their last summer together of high school before they all went off to their different colleges. And they all wanted to do something memorable before then. And Lucy had suggested a road trip which they had all excitedly agreed to.

And the talk of the future was making Alex feel some sort of way, a nervous excitement and playfulness.

She was facing Maggie, softly caressing her arm.

“Officer Sawyer- no _Detective Maggie Sawyer,_ ” Alex mumbled with a small smile. “I like the sound of that.”

Maggie smiled with a soft hum. She warmed with affection at the certainty of Alex’s belief in her. She tilted her head closer to Alex’s with a smile. “ _Dr Danvers_ doesn’t sound so bad either,” she hummed and Alex’s grin deepened lazily.

“Hmmm, we make quite a pair.” And she could envisage it so clearly, she could so easily picture what their future would look like, and she wanted it so much that she couldn’t put it into words.

She let it flow into her lazy kisses instead.

After a few seconds Maggie pulled back and looked at Alex a moment and Alex knew she had something on her mind.

“Do you think it will always be like this?” Maggie asked, quiet and vulnerable. “Us- I mean. Do you think we will always have this?” Maggie wanted more than anything in the world for them to last. And she was scared about the next few years.

Alex had got into Stanford and Maggie had decided on Berkeley and they were both so happy about that, but they were still nervous because it was still a big change to how things were now.

Alex took Maggie’s hand in her own, interlacing their fingers. “When I think about my future, the clearest thing in it is you,” Alex whispered and Maggie tried to control how her heart reacted to that.

Alex nodded with a soft smile at Maggie’s expression, playing with Maggie’s fingers. “I think about all the things we’re gonna do together.” She watched the small smile spread across Maggie’s face. “I think about finding our first place together, getting to wake up to each other every day...” Honestly, Alex went to sleep thinking about how she would ask Maggie to marry her someday, but she wasn’t going to admit that to Maggie just yet because she didn’t want to scare her.

“Our first dog,” Maggie offered softly and Alex’s heart zoomed in her chest.

She let out a joyful laugh. “Yeah, a whole pack of dogs,” she laughed, getting swept up in this image of their future. “Our first vacation,” she said, turning to Maggie with a smile. “Where do you want to go?”

Maggie smiled, thinking about it. Before last year, she had never been out of Nebraska, and now she longed to see the world, she wanted to explore it with Alex. “Anywhere with you,” she said softly, vulnerable in a way Maggie didn’t often let show and Alex kissed Maggie’s shoulder, bringing her closer into her, hugging her tighter.

“We’ll travel the world together,” she whispered and Maggie exhaled, burrowing into Alex deeper. Everything Alex was promising seemed so big and far away but the way that Alex said them made them feel so tangible. Alex softened at Maggie’s reaction. “I want all of these things with you Maggie,” she said softly and Maggie couldn’t stop herself from kissing her.

 “I want them with you too,” she whispered against Alex’s lips. And she let all her love show in the soft deep kisses.

 

 

Graduation day came around, and at the end of the night, Alex took Maggie away from the party into a quiet room where she gave Maggie the gift she had bought.

She got the small box out and Maggie’s heart was beating fast because it looked like a ring and Alex opened the box and it was. A simple, pretty silver band.

“It’s- it’s a promise ring,” Alex said nervously at the look on Maggie’s face, and Maggie’s heart warmed all through.

“Look,” Alex said, showing Maggie the inscription she had had carved on the inside in cursive. “It’s got my initials,” she said softly. And she reached around her neck and pulled out the necklace from under her top that Maggie didn’t even know she was wearing. And dangling on the necklace was a ring matching to the one in the box. Alex showed it to Maggie and it had Maggie’s initials carved into it and Maggie felt her eyes well up with tears. Something about Alex having her initials on a ring around her neck made Maggie’s heart squeeze with love.

“This ring is a promise to you that I will love you forever, that whatever happens, we will always be together.” Alex let out a nervous laugh, she didn’t know if Maggie would think it was too much. “Do you like it?” she asked softly.

And Maggie exhaled and stepped closer into Alex and brought their heads together, cupping Alex’s face in her hands. “Alex…I love it,” she whispered teary-eyed and she kissed her softly, putting all of her feelings into it. She pulled back, breathing against Alex’s lips and looked up into her eyes. “I love you,” she breathed and Alex let out a breath, and then a laugh that crinkled her eyes beautifully.

“I love you too,” Alex whispered, nuzzling her nose against Maggie’s. “Forever.”

 

 

fin.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really hope you all liked it:)
> 
> #sanversendgame always<3


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